One Sad April
by MiaHime
Summary: The past is coming back to haunt me. Can I trust the people around me? Do I dare to love again? No one knows my past, they only know me as the overly happy ferry girl. Can I hide or will my secret hurt those around me? [KB] R
1. Resurfacing

I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho or any of its characters

"Speech"

'Thoughts' 

Flashback will be labeled and italicized.

Chapter 1: Resurfacing

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_Bright, yellow flowers dance along with the gently spring time breeze. A girl with sky blue hair, collected in a ponytail stood under a sakura tree. Sakura petals rained down upon the figure as the sun shone warmly upon her creamy skin. The scene shifted, a pair of sky blue eyes filled with mischief gazed upon the form of the girl. Suddenly, her figure exploded with crimson, splattering like wet paint on canvas, instantly flooding the scene with a thick, sticky red substance._

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"Ahhhh!" A pair of soft pink orbs shot open as she awakes up from her disturbing nightmare. Her frame lay on a white, cushiony bed with sheets entangled around her limbs. Azure locks fanned across the white, cotton pillow. Botan lifts up her right hand and rests the back of her hand on her forehead. A sigh escapes her lips, _'one more week until that fateful day.'_ Reluctantly, Botan rolls out of bed and hops into the warm shower. _'It is Friday, but the gang doesn't have school so they should be at Genkai's.'_ Afterwards, she dresses in a pair of light blue jeans, a light green t-shirt, and a lightweight, azure jacket. She quickly gathers her hair in a ponytail and ties it with a light green ribbon. Botan summons her oar, and flies out the bedroom window of her apartment in Ningenkai. The breeze brushes against Botan's creamy skin and ruffles her locks. _'It feels so good to fly.'_ Botan observe the scenery and saw many people out shopping with their family or friends, and it made her envious. _'Is that…?'_ Botan squints her eyes, lifting her right hand to her eyebrows as if shielding her eyes from the radiant sun. There, she spots a dot of red, surrounded by dots of black, brown, and yellow. _'It is Kurama. Oh my, he sure is a lady-killer. He looks like he could use some help.'_ Botan swiftly descended in an alleyway near Kurama, hide her oar and casually walked out of the alleyway. She scanned from left to right, and there she recognized a young man with silky red locks, and emerald green eyes, wearing his favorite red uniform. _'Here goes nothing.'_

"Suuichi!"

The boy with red hair turned to his left and sighed in relief. He straightened his frame and walked casually toward Botan as the three girls stalked behind him.

"Hello Botan, what brings you to this part of town?"

"Oh nothing special. Just thought I'd stop by."

"Botan…"

"Ahum." Suuichi's sentence was cut off as a girl cleared her throat behind him.

"Suuichi, who is this?"

"I'm sorry, let me introduce you all."

Suuichi introduced all the girls from left to right. "Botan, this is Yuki, Haiyo, and Sami." Yuki has blonde, shoulder length hair, wearing a pair of glasses, which reflected her blues eyes really well. Haiyo has brown, tomboyish hair and a pair of dark brown eyes. Sami has raven-colored, waist-length hair and a pair of piercing navy blue eyes. All three of them were glaring flames at Botan.

"Girls, this is Botan."

"Hello girls," Botan said, while putting on her friendly smile and waving her right hand at them.

"Hi," the girls puffed. Sami turned toward Suuichi with a seductive smile and asked, "Suuichi what is your relation with her," pointing a finger at Botan.

"Botan is…"

"His girlfriend," Botan finished. All three glared daggers at Botan with flushed cheeks and steam puffing out of their ears. Then, they turn toward Suuichi as if asking for assurance. Suuichi was also a bit startled, and didn't say anything. Suddenly, Botan intertwines her hand with Suuichi's right hand, earning a gasp from the three. A faint blush adorns Suuichi's cheeks, which went unnoticed by all. _'Why am I reacting like this?'_ _ Suuichi thought._ Yuki faced Suuichi and asked, "Is this true Suuichi?" He was still quite shocked at Botan's claim, but he nodded anyways. "Suuichi, we should head off. Our friends are waiting," Botan said as she turned and Suuichi followed suit, walking slowly away from the steaming girls. As they walked a few steps, Botan winked at Suuichi and an understanding smile spread across his lips. The three girls starred at the couple's retreating form, flaring with anger and jealousy. They were angry at the fact that the most popular and handsome guy in school is taken, and jealous because the girl who had stolen his heart is exceptionally beautiful.

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Botan released his hand, slightly saddening Suuichi. "Whew! That was close, right Suu… I mean, Kurama?"

"Yes it was, and thank you for your assistance."

"No problem Kurama, but those girls really give me the shivers. I don't think I should accidentally bump into them without you around."

Kurama smiled amusingly. _'Why am I so comfortable around her? Maybe it's due to the fact that we are teammates? Maybe…' _Kurama shrugged off his thoughts and asked, "Botan, where are you headed?"

"Oh…right, I was suppose to meet the gang at Genkai's temple."

"Is it a new mission, Botan?"

"No, no, I just miss the gang so much, and it's almost…" _'No I should not tell them, I don't want them to worry about me.'_

"It's almost, what?"

"Oh nothing Kurama, let's go meet the gang." Botan summons her oar and flew off toward the north.

Kurama wrinkled his eyebrow as if in deep thought with a frown displayed on his lips. _'Botan is hiding something, but why?' _His thoughts were interrupted when Botan flashed back and yanked Kurama onto her oar, startling the red head as he circled his arms around Botan's waist. Kurama blushed from the close contact, but luckily Botan's back was turned. In front, Botan cheeks also turned a pretty shade of pink from Kurama's touch. _'What is wrong with me? Why do I feel warm inside?'_ Botan was shook from her thoughts as Kurama shouted, "Botan! Look out!" Botan glanced up and her eyes widen at the sight of a tree a foot ahead. She steered sharply to the left, barely dodging a direct collision. "Tehehe…sorry Kurama, I was thinking about something."

"It's quite alright, Botan. Just be careful."

"I will. Look, Kurama! There's the temple."

Botan landed on the ground, and Kurama hesitantly released his hold around Botan's waist, missing the warmth of her body. _'Why do I feel slightly disappointed?'_ Kurama mentally shook his thoughts away as he felt Botan grab his left arm and dragged him in the temple, and once again a smile crept on his lips.

Botan burst through the door and yelled, "Hey guys!"

A girl with caramel brown hair and chocolate brown eyes ran up to Botan. Botan freed her hold on Kurama's hand, and the girls hugged. "Hi, Keiko."

"Hi, Botan. We miss you."

"I miss you guys too."

A boy with slick black hair and dark brown eyes, wearing plain blue jeans and a white t-shirt faced Botan's direction. "Hey Botan, what's the problem now?" A much taller youth with spiky orange hair, and tiny onyx eyes, wearing a blue uniform added, "Yeah Botan, do you need the Great Kuwabara to fight evil and save the day again?" Yusuke snorted at Kuwabara's outburst.

"No, I'm only here to visit my best friends." Botan glared toward the slick black head and questioned, "Why do you always think it's trouble whenever I'm around, huh, Yusuke?"

"Aw, come on Botan, you always show up to give us missions. It's only natural to think that way."

"Well for your information, Yusuke, I have a full week worth of vacation." Botan crossed her arms across her chest and turned away from Yusuke.

The group looked surprised because Koenma, the Prince of Reikai, never allows Botan to have breaks, and a vacation is far from the question. Keiko spoke up for the stunned crowd, "Botan, I thought Koenma never gives you a vacation, so why now?"

Botan sighed and soften her features, "Well Keiko, whenever it's almost that time…I mean, annual vacation time, he has to give me my vacation. It's only fair, and if he doesn't, he'll have to face my wrath." Botan emphasized her point by shaking a clinched fist in the air, with flames shining from her soft pink orbs.

Everyone watched Botan with an anime sweat drop behind his or her head.

Kurama's eyebrows scrunched up in thought again, _'Botan mentioned that time again, but why won't she tell us. She probably has her reason, but still.'_ Kurama's thoughts were interrupted for the second time by Botan's voice. "Hey guys, how about we have a party and sleepover here at Genkai's temple?"

"Yeah, I'm in." Yusuke and Kuwabara answered simultaneously.

"Sure," answered Kurama. 'I have a feeling that Botan is not quite her usual self, but I can't put a finger on it. What are you hiding and why can't you tell us Botan?'

"That'd be great Botan," announced Keiko.

"I'm fine with it," Shizuru, a young lady with light brown hair and brown eyes, answered in her monotone voice.

"Hn," Hiei, a demon with gravity defying black hair with a white starburst in the center and a pair of crimson orbs, uttered. The short boy was wearing his emotionless face and his favorite black outfit.

"Great, then we'd have it here. Yukina, would you mine asking Genki?" A lean girl with aqua hair tied in a low ponytail, wearing a traditional Japanese kimono replied,

"No, not at all, Botan-san, I'm sure Genkai would agree." Yukina smiled her gentle and innocent smile. "Thanks Yukina, you're the best!" Botan wrapped her arms around the girl and gave her a friendly hug, while hopping up and down with delight. "You're welcome, Botan-san."

"Okay guys, the party will be here at 7PM on the coming Friday, which is April the third. Oh, I almost forgot that I have some errands to run for Koenma. Bye guys, and don't forget the party."

"Bye Botan," the group chorused, except for Hiei, who just stood in a dark corner with arms crossed and one bent knee, leaning against the wall with eyes closed.

Botan slide on her oar and flew toward the sky, thinking, _'Well, at least when that fateful day comes, I'll be with my friends. Just one more week and the pain will stop resurfacing.'_

This is my first KB story, so please review.

**MiaHime**


	2. Faces of the Sun

I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho!

"Speech"

_'Thoughts'_

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Chapter 2:

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**Kurama's POV**

I stroll through the park on my way home, absorbing the tranquil nature. The field of bright green, feather light grass appears to sway as a passing spring breeze caresses its tip. Countless apple green leaves flutter lustily as if dancing with the wind. Sakura petals gently sprinkle down, decorating the blanket of green, which produces a lovely and serene environment. Scents of fresh mint, moist soil, sweet dew, and jasmine tickle my nose. _'Wait! I don't recall sighting any jasmine around this area.'_ My nose gingerly perks up, and I slowly inhale the surrounding air. I recognize the trace of jasmine with a faint hint of melon. My facial expression softens as I draw in more air in order to locate the owner of the floral scent. I whirl around to my right, and proceed toward a mighty Sakura tree near the crystal blue lake with a tender smile, gracing my lips.

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** Botan's POV**

I sit lazily underneath the Sakura tree with my back leaning against its trunk. My legs extend straight out with my left crossed over my right, and my hands fold neatly on my lap. My eyes glaze over, starring blankly at the infinite space, as I lost sight of the world. _'It's Monday, March 30th.'_ I breathe out a sigh, as I refocus back on reality. I meekly extend my right arm, keeping my elbow slightly bent. Fingers mildly curl, exposing the peach color skin of my palm, waiting for a Sakura petal to float downward and land in my waiting hand. _'Sakura…my dream, those unforgettable eyes, the oozing red substance…'_ I return into a daze state; thoughts of my dream recurring like a flipbook, scrolling in my mind. I was so deep in thought that I became oblivious of my surrounding. Unexpectedly, I detect a shade of red out of the corner of my eye, which strike me with horror. My face drains of color, turning a ghostly white as my eyes widen. I jump out of my sitting position, breathing heavily. _'Blood.' _My eyes are glued to the ground as I clasp my left hand over my heart _'No, it can't be happening,'_ my mind screams, sweat starting to coat my forehead.

"Sorry Botan, I did not intend to startle you." I heard a voice say.

I slowly raise my head and shift my gaze from the ground toward the voice. My eyes clash with concerned emerald orbs. "Oh, hey, Kurama. It's only you." _'The dream is really making me edgy. I need to relax.'_

"Botan, do you feel unwell? You look very pale."

"No, I…I'm fine, Kurama. I was just um…thinking about something, and you just popped out of nowhere, so I just reacted. Yeah, it was just a normal reaction, nothing to worry about."

"Oh, I understand," he replied in a low tone. I could tell that he didn't buy my answer. He is after all, the smartest among the Spirit Detectives. I shove my thoughts away and decide to change to subject.

"Why are you here, Kurama?"

His features seem to settle, and I could tell that he had let my reaction go for the moment. He looked at me and answered in a neutral tone. "I had taken my usual route home from school, when I caught sight of the Sakura blossoms scattered on the field. I did not want to simply walk home and waste the opportunity to enjoy the beautiful scenery," he stated; however there was a glint in his eyes that told me there was more than he had said, but I ignored it when he asked,"what brings you here, Botan?"

"Oh, well, I have a full week of vacation so I thought I'd come here and relax. The view here is extremely beautiful."

"I believe we share similar thoughts then?"

"Yep! Kurama, look! The sun is setting. I just love the sunset." My eyes sparkle with delight as I shift my view toward the bright orange sphere. I really do love the sun. Shades of red, orange and yellow blend together nicely, resembling a mural, embellishing the horizon. "Come on, Kurama. Let's sit and enjoy the view." With that said, I tug on Kurama's right sleeve and pulls him into a sitting position underneath the Sakura tree. I have forgotten my dream for the moment. Once again, I lean against the trunk with my legs extend outward, right crossing over left, and hands relaxing above my laps. Kurama sits to my left, leaning against the tree trunk with his left leg out stretched, right leg bent upward with his right hand lazily resting above his right knee. I could still feel my rapid heartbeat and rising body temperature, probably from that fright earlier. _'Why am I blushing then? It's probably just a result of the sun's heat.' _ I push my thoughts aside and watch the sunset.

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** Kurama's POV**

I watch the sunset with Botan, sitting to my right, yet I could not help but wonder why Botan had reacted so vigorously before. She claimed it was a normal reaction, but her eyes reflected pure horror as if she had witnessed a massacre bathed in human blood. I could not help but worry for her well being.

"Kurama, isn't the sunset beautiful?" I heard her whisper.

"It certainly is, Botan." I stole a quick glance at Botan. The uneasy feeling I had before was washed away as I notice her creamy skin, glowing underneath the rays of the sun. Her eyes glitter with awe and a wide smile, playing on her pink lips, causing a smile to crawl onto my own lips. I feel really comfortable in her presence, but I have not felt that way toward any of my fan girls. I wonder why, but answers did not come, so I let is pass as my eyes again wander toward her. Her eyes appear to be lost in space, when I heard her utter, "Kurama, do you know what the sun represents?"

"I believe that the sun represents time, constantly informing us of the happenings around us. Whether it is seasonal or climatic changes. The sun also continuously reminds us of our existence by its lingering presence," I answer her with what knowledge I have concerning the sun. I am curious as to why she had asked such a question. "Why do you ask, Botan?"

"I just think that the sun has opposing meaning to it, but most people only look at the sun from one point of view."

"How so?" Her answer seems to have a hidden meaning, but I could not place it.

"The sun rises and sets, assuring the occurrence of day and night. It will always break through and brighten up the day, whether in rain or snow, winter or summer, clear or cloudy. It acts as a source of energy for all living organisms. It permits for seasonal changes within a region. It sets to allow all the organisms rest, while it rises to ensure a new day, and a new beginning." "Are these assumptions true, Kurama?"

"I trust it is." I had agreed, but there was a different tone in her voice hinting that there was more. She had also used the word, assumptions, meaning she somewhat disagrees with what she had previously stated. My curiosity keeps growing, so I question, "are you implying that this impression about the sun is incorrect, Botan?"

She flares up at my question. "Of course it's wrong. People only see what's on the surface, and no one has ever took time to understand the sun." Botan twists her upper body toward me, a pout spewing from her lips. Both her hands held in fists, less than a foot away from her chest. Her eyebrows wrinkled up, displaying a disapproving look. I am quite amused at her reaction, but I know I should display a neutral expression.

"Would you care to explain your claim then?"

Botan's shoulders slump, her arms lay limply by her sides as she resumes her previous sitting position. "Well, what you and everyone else see is the superficial aspect of the sun. Yes, it's a sphere of fire, bright and reliable; however, that is not all that it is. I solely believe that it shines to remind us of its presence. It does set, but it will always rise for fear of vanishing from the face of the earth. It desires other's attention in order to feel important, in order to feel needed. It craves for a place in people's minds and hearts, and that is why it constantly returns and radiates from the sky."

'_Interesting, I have not thought about the sun in that aspect.' _I am uncertain as to why, but I felt drawn by her words, so I questioned her further, "you have a very perspective view regarding the sun, but what cause you to have such insight, Botan?"

Botan's hand subconsciously rises to caress her pendant, which is hanging from the thin, silver chain around her neck. Her head is partly bowed, so that her eyes are starring hazily on the ground. She whispers, "Well, if you think about it, my view of the sun is basically how I judge people around me. Everyone has two faces whether he or she chooses to show it or not. For example, Hiei is an infamous, cold-blooded killer in Makai, yet he has a warm, protective heart when it comes to Yukina. I guess like people, the sun has its strength and weakness, good and bad. Don't you think so, Kurama?"

"Truthfully, I have never thought much of the sun besides that its existence is essential, but your reasoning is well argued. You have enlightened my view; however, you sound different today…you don't usually speak in such a serious manner." The last part slipped out before I could catch myself.

At my statement, Botan became nervous. "Ahehehe…don't be silly, Kurama. I'm still the same old, clumsy Botan that everyone loves. Oh, look at the time. You should get home before your mother worries, Kurama." I cursed myself for causing the tension and giving Botan a reason to leave.

"Would you like me to walk you home, Botan?'

"Don't bother, my apartment is in the opposite direction, and I could just fly on my oar." I felt a prick at my heart when she refused my offer. _'Do I bring such discomfort to her that she would reject my presence without second thought?'_

I respect her choice, but I would not leave before her. "Alright, but at least let me see you off."

"Okay'" she said. She summons her oar and settles herself above it. She seems hesitant for a moment, and then she leaps off of her oar. Botan runs toward me, and I open my mouth to ask, "What is the…" I wasn't able to finish my question, as she embraces me, and whispers a Thanks and Goodbye. Before, I could respond; she had adjusted herself on her oar, and flew toward the sky. I watch her retreating form with a longing smile. _'What have you done to me, Botan?'_ I slowly turn around and walk in the opposite direction. Botans' words echoed in my mind, and numerous questions begin to fabricate, yet one thought appears to dominate. _'Everybody has two faces…maybe she contains two faces also…maybe…'_

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_Okay, I had a hard time with this chapter. One, I could not grasp Kurama's character very well and wasn't sure how he should speak. Two, I wasn't sure how I wanted it organized. I tried to play narrator, but that was too difficult so I decided on characters POV. I hope I didn't mess up Kurama's character and if I did please tell me. After this chapter, I will try to update regularly. Hopefully no later than a month for each chapter. I have school and studies so I can't help it and expect later updates when exams come. I hope you all liked it, and please REVIEW with a cherry on top and extra fudge! It might not seem much now, but it will get better, plus it's only the beginning. Thanks for those who read and especially those who reviewed.

MiaHime


	3. Avoiding Emotions

I do no own Yu Yu Hakusho!

"Speech"

'_Thoughts'_

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Chapter 3: Avoiding Emotions

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**Botan's POV**

I had departed with Kurama, and had found myself in the forest near Genkai's temple. I need time to think. I lay on the tender, green grass with legs out stretched with the left, crossing over the right, and hands, resting above my stomach. My eyes, focusing straight at the round, pearl moon, while my mind wanders back to the conversation earlier today. I was in deep thought until a deep, emotionless voice echoed, "Onna, you are trespassing in my territory."

I bolt upward; my eyes dart from side to side, trying to locate the owner of the voice. I know who it is because only one person calls me that. It is dark out, and the canopy of trees casts humongous shadows in every direction, so I had finally given up my search. I decide to just call for him. "Hiei? Oh sorry, I didn't realize you were here. I came here by accident, and I needed to think so I just landed and here I am." I replied like the usual chirpy ferry girl.

"Whatever. Just don't bother me with your annoying voice."

I feel insulted, but I didn't bother arguing because I know things could get ugly, and plus I need to think. I lay back down in my previous position, staring at the moon as my mind wanders off again. I didn't know why I had told Kurama all those things about the sun. I just felt so comfortable around him that I did not think about holding anything back. It felt natural to sit with him, to talk with him, and to act freely around him without second thought. It might be because he's the wit of the team, who seems to be able to make people reveal all their thoughts and feelings. He has that kind of power over people, yet I don't think he tried to pry information out of me. Hell! He even said I sounded weird. Errrr! This is getting on my nerves. I could feel a headache coming, so I raise my left hand up, using my thumb and middle finger; I begin massaging either side of my head. Kurama is very suspicious and intelligent, he would be thinking about the earlier event right now. I bet he's trying to put the pieces of puzzle together. I am so stupid. _'How could I act so carelessly?'_ Why'd I have to go and babble on about the sun as if I was talking about myself? My eyebrows rose, eyes widening a bit. _'Did I want Kurama to know?'_ My left had had subconsciously drifted away from my head toward my mouth, covering it as I inhaled deeply. Could it be that I wanted Kurama to care? He is my friend. I know I respect him, I know I can depend on him, and I know I can tru… I bolt up into a sitting position with my hands, clutching the fabric of my pants. _'No! Never! Not after that, not after him!'_ I grumble underneath my breath, "I will never trust anyone again."

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**Hiei's POV**

I was lying in the usual tree, watching over the temple to make sure Yukina is well protected. Then, I sensed the loud, ferry girl's presence and hoped that she would fly past the area, but to my disappointment she landed. I decided to speak up and added a hint of displeasure in my voice, thinking she would leave me at peace. I was wrong; she just apologized and babbles on about why she was here. _'Hn, like I care.' _I thought she would bother me with her too-happy-for-my-liking bickering, but again I was wrong. She lay underneath the moon, silently. I couldn't care less as long as she didn't annoy me. I was sitting on the upper, thick tree branch, leaning against the tree trunk, arms crossed over my chest, left leg bent with my knee facing upward. My eyes are were, but my jagan emitted a faint, lime green glow. I was cool and calm, almost as if I was asleep. However, I had heard the onna mumble something that made me ponder. I could care less about the stupid ferry girl, but I despise being wrong and clueless. My eyebrows begin to twitch in annoyance. I had incorrectly predicted the onna's reaction, and I had dismissed that fact. My pride could not let two mistakes be ignored. She was odd today, not bubbly nor happy. Her dumb emotions are not my concern, but not having knowledge of the situation irritates me. I will get answers whether it is willingly surrendered or forcefully taken.

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**Botan's POV**

I was sitting stiffly, solid as a rock. Abruptly, Hiei, who appeared in front of me in a flash, took me by surprise, causing me to learn slightly back. "Onna, explain," Hiei uttered, in a low, but commanding voice.

My right eye begins to twitch. _'I didn't bother him, yet he dares to question me.' _I am already being rampaged by my thoughts, and now Hiei intends to cause me more trouble. "Hiei, I did not believe I was bothering you," I said, trying to pull a calm face, but failed when a frown appears on my lips.

I could see that Hiei was not too happy. Both his hands were in his pockets, but his eyes had narrowed at me. "Onna, explain your actions and speech," Hiei nearly spat out. His voice held a trace of acid, but he held his calm façade.

My cool is crumbling. I did not understand his demands, and even if I did, why should I tell him? He told me not to bother him, yet he confronts me. _'Who does he think he is?'_ I could not hold it any longer, so I flared at him. "Well, Sor-ry, Hiei." I purposely stressed out the apology as a means of sarcasm. "I don't understand your question because I can't read minds. I didn't bother you, so stay out of my business." I had balled up my right fist, swinging it in front of me, while yelling in Hiei's face. Afterward, I was panting, but never caught a breath as my body was slammed against a tree trunk with a painfully, firm hand, circling around my throat, cutting off my air supply. The moonlight had shone above Hiei's figure, illuminating his bright, red eyes penetrating deep into my own, as if he was invading my soul. My heart raced with fear, but I would not let it show. I kept my ground, locking my gaze with his. Hiei bared his teeth, and growled, "Onna, I could wring your neck within a blink of an eye. You don't know who you're dealing with."

I refuse to back down. I am not at fault so why should I? "I know well of your capabilities, and I don't need you to remind me. I did not bother you, yet you chose to break the peace, and even threaten me," I choke out.

Hiei's grip on my neck tightens, digging his fingernails into my flesh. "Unfortunately, your careless outburst does not prove your claim. I suggest you answer my question, and I will make certain that your death is quick."

Hiei's words were ringing in my ears. Suddenly, dying didn't sound like a bad idea. My haunting dreams and centuries worth of emotional torture would be over. I let my body hang limply in Hiei's grasps, and look into his eyes as I breathed out, "Then kill me."

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**Hiei's POV**

My body was burning with anger. _'No one has ever disrespected me and escaped death.'_ I had asked a simple question, and the ferry girl exploded at me. She had made a deadly mistake when she had decided to defy my question. I had grabbed her by her scrawny neck, shoved her weak body against a tree, and threatened her worthless life. What, happened next partly stunned me. She lifts up her head and peer into my eyes. Her pink orbs reflected an endless, dark void. I didn't see pain, regret, plea or fear. She was a living corpse. I relax my grip and race away from her. Her distance coughs, assure me that she was all right. I halt in a clearing about a mile behind the old lady's temple. I maintain my emotionless mask, but my mind is disheveled. Memories of my past are flashing in my mind like strikes of lightening. _'The Forbidden child, isolation, being shunned, falling off the cliff, implantation of the jagan.'_ My arms are held rigid on either side of my body. I clinch my hands into fists, drawing a thin line of blood from my palm with my nails. I never imagine I would see those eyes again. _'Her eyes mirrored my own during my painful childhood.'_ The pain and hatred smashes into me like a tsunami, drowning me with emotions that I believe I was immune to. I am very displeased with myself. I had erased all emotions in order to stay strong for myself and for Yukina, but now everything seems in vain. _'No, I will not be defeated by these worthless emotions.'_ I rebury the emotions, and lay stretch out underneath the night sky; arms crossed under my head, legs partially spread out, forming a thin, letter v. As much as I hate to admit it, I rather prefer the baka onna's perky nature to the cold-nearly-dead look that I had witnessed earlier. The mystery regarding the ferry onna is highly unnerving. _'What had caused her to be in her current state?'_

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Yay! Another chapter. I had expected myself to update later, but ideas kept popping in my head so I just had to write sooner or else I wouldn't be able to concentrate on anything else. **No!** This is purely a Kurama-Botan pairing, so just wait and see why I made Botan encounter Hiei. It's all part of the plot. Oh, and if I didn't follow Hiei's character well enough, then tell me. It is difficult to grasp all the character and make them think and sound like the ones in the series, especially if I didn't create these characters. One more thing, these few chapters, probably up to chapter 10, will be mostly Botan's torment of her past, so it will be depressing. I hope you all bare with me. Please review, if you have any comments or suggestions then just write them down. Thanks for reading my fiction.

MiaHime


	4. We All Have Secrets

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Chapter 4: We All Have Secrets

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**Botan's POV**

A sigh escapes my lips as it is now April the first, the party is near, but I'm bored out of my mind. I finally get a vacation only to spend it alone, while all my friends are in school. There's Yukina, but I don't want to bother her, and she hasn't gotten use to the crowds of people in the city yet. Plus Hiei would kill me if anything happened to her. '_Hiei?' _Might as well go see how he's doing since our last encounter. I had felt that it's my fault for screaming at him, and asking for him to kill me. _'He was only…worried?'_ Hiei is an inconsiderate jerk most of the time, but that's because the world has neglected him since his childhood days. He lost happiness, care, laughter, affection, warmth, hope, and trust. I gasp. _'Just like me.'_ My eyes widen in realization, and I knew I had to speak to Hiei and…and apologize. I summon my oar and fly out my bedroom window. The sun is bright and warm today, nearly blinding my eyes. I lift one hand above my eyebrows in order to shade my eyes from the sun. I pass by the city on my way toward Genkai's temple, when I caught sight of a gigantic ice cream cone, sitting on top of a white and pink truck. I land in an alleyway below, change into human form and walk out toward the truck. _'Perfect!' _

I somehow manage to fly to Genkai's forest without dropping the containers that are tuck underneath my right arm. I walk toward the tree, where I had met Hiei two nights ago, assuming that he'd be there. Now holding a container in either hand, I glance upward, and there I spot a black figure within the thick leaves of green on the treetop. A smile spread on my lips.

"Hello Hiei!" I said in a cheery voice and a wide, silly smile, yet Hiei didn't seem to acknowledge my greeting. He didn't move nor did he open his eyes. _'You're still mad.'_ I could not blame him because I knew he didn't intend to kill me, but I urged him to, treating him like a ruthless killer. He's probably still angry and probably shocked that I took his threats seriously, when all those other times in the team I always acted silly, and never thought much of his threats. I shrug my thoughts away, and tried a different approach.

"Isn't it a warm day today, Hiei? I passed by the city on my way here and brought some sweet snow. Well, I bought a pint of chocolate-flavored sweet snow for you also. Um…I'll just lay it by the tree trunk then." I felt a bit disappointed when not even his favorite flavor of sweet snow (ice cream) could get a response from him. I turn around; ready to walk away, when I felt a swift breeze blew past, ruffling my hair and clothes. I return my gaze at the spot underneath the tree only to find it empty. I smiled knowingly, and sat down underneath the tree. I open my own pint of banana split ice cream, and stop. I place the lid on the ground and stare at it as if it was the only object in my line of vision. "Hiei, I-I'm sorry. I'm sorry for yelling at you, and I'm sorry for telling you to kill me two nights ago."

"Hn whatever," is Hiei's plain reply.

"Hiei, why didn't you kill me?" I blurt out before I could think about what I had just asked.

"Hn." _'Is that all he ever says?'_ I raise one eyebrow and lean against the tree. Something in his tone when he answered told me he wasn't sure how to answer, but knowing Hiei he would never admit that. I smile weakly to myself. _'Softie.' _I relax underneath the spring weather, eating ice cream and enjoying Hiei's silent company. It's strange how Hiei could be dangerous in other's view, but I know he's not that bad. Seeing how he cares about Yukina is proof enough. "Hiei, why don't you want Yukina to know you're her brother?" I mentally smack myself for my stupidity. _'My mouth always gets me in trouble, but I am curious.'_

I heard the shuffling of leaves and knew I had caught his attention. "Mind your own business, Onna," he said in his deep, monotone voice. For some reason my curiosity rose, and I just let my mouth run before my brain could even consider the consequences.

"You claim that you are trying to protect her or is it that you think she's a burden? I know I am crossing the line, but I believe Yukina has the right to know that her brother was always right there. I know you think that you're not worthy of being her brother, but have you ever thought of what she thinks? Didn't you see her sadness, when she wasn't able to find her brother?"

"Do not try my patience, Onna." Hiei's reply was spiked with acid and I knew I had hit a nerve. _'Maybe I shouldn't have pried. Everyone has their secrets, including me, but…'_

I had finished my carton of ice cream, so I gather up the lid and carton, and stood up. I slowly walked a few steps away from the tree, and halted. "Hiei, one of these days you will regret not telling Yukina the truth." With that said, I continued to walk away, not waiting for Hiei's response.

* * *

**Hiei's POV**

I was lying in my usual tree branch within the old lady's forest, watching over Yukina, when I detected the ferry onna's presence. She landed and greeted me with her ever so happy-annoying voice, but I ignored her. Then she mentioned chocolate sweet snow. I had attempted to contain my desire for it, but all was in vain. I had phased out and snatched the bucket of sweet snow just as she was about to leave, thus startling her. _'Darn my liking of this human food.'_ I had rapidly started to consume my chocolate favored sweet snow, when she apologized. I had stopped my spoon, blinked once, but then continued my feast upon the tasty, thick substance. When she questioned my hesitation to kill her, I was nearly speechless, but gave her my usual 'Hn' response. _'As if I'd admit my fear to anyone besides a dead corpse that is.'_ With my lack of response, I figured she'd quit asking; however, the baka ferry onna just didn't know when to stop her babbling mouth. My head snapped, causing the leaves to rustle, when the ferry onna mentioned Yukina's name. She had caught my attention. My left eye was partially twitching, and I warned her to mind her own business, while adding a hint of acid in my voice. _'Like a baka ferry onna would understand my reason to hide the truth from Yukina.'_ The ferry onna might be stupid and pathetic sometimes, but what she said was all…was all true. My eye had stopped twitching, and I had leaned back against the tree with both hands placed behind my head. _'Of course I could see Yukina's sadness, and she does have the right to know the truth, but I am not worthy of her. I am just a ruthless demon, who's hands are stained with blood.'_ The ferry onna's words were ringing in my ears, and throbbing in my head, haunting me. I know…I know but…_'Will I regret not revealing the truth to Yukina…will I?'_

_

* * *

_

MiaHime


	5. Broken

* * *

Chapter 5: Broken

* * *

_Drip, drop goes the sprinkling rain. _

_Splish, splash went the pouring rain._

_ If only the rain could wash away this sorrow, _

_If only the rain could erase this pain, _

_I would bathe underneath it forever. _

_But the rain only blends with my unshed tears, _

_Rising, growing, overflowing, _

_Finally seeping out from within my withering heart._

_If the rain could not ease my pain,_

_I would lay broken underneath it._

_

* * *

_

**Kurama's POV**

I walked into the park near my house with an umbrella in my hands. The sound of rain thumping on the umbrella did not stop my thoughts from wondering about my meeting with the blue haired deity two days ago. She was so calm, almost depressing while giving her speech about the sun. From the corner of my eyes, I caught sight of something blue underneath the Sakura tree. I turned around only to find Botan, standing underneath the tree with her arms on either side of her body. Her face was held toward the sky, absorbing all the raindrops that are falling her way. _'She…she looks so sad.'_ I felt a pin prick at my heart. I truly wanted to hold her and comfort her, but I can't. I walked up to her form, and lifted my umbrella above her head, shielding her from the rain. Her eyes fluttered open from the lack of contact from the pouring rain, and widened when she saw my face. I could tell that she was surprised. "Oh…um…Kurama, is school out already?"

Her efforts to hide her cracked voice were in vain for I knew she was trying to hide her emotional turmoil from me. My eyes were focused on her, desperately trying to contain my worries.

"Yes, and may I ask why you are out in the pouring rain, Botan?"

She smiled sadly, appearing in a dazed state, and answered, "I guess the rain could not wash away sadness after all." A small frown had found its way on my lips when I heard her reply. _'What is causing all these emotions, Botan?'_

"Botan, would you like to dry off at my house?" Botan nodded weakly, and we walked toward my house. I could not help but wonder why had her mood changed ever since the start of her vacation. Even when she acted cheerful and requested a party, she wasn't as energetic as usual. _'Botan is acting strange, and I will find out why.'_

"Please come in Botan." I expected mother to be home, but the sight of a yellow slip of paper on the refrigerator explained her absence. I read the sheet, which said that mother had forgotten some ingredients and should be home by dinnertime. I'm glad mother would not have to worry, and Botan would not be placed in an awkward situation.

"Botan, please make yourself comfortable and I shall get you a towel." She only nodded in understanding. I had gotten a towel and returned back into my room in order to hand it to Botan. She accepted it, and wrapped it around her shoulders. "Thank you, Kurama." She had whispered.

"Botan, would you like to change into some dry clothes?"

She had shut her eyes and slowly shook her head. "Please don't bother, Kurama. I'm fine." Her limited response only adds on to my worries. _'I need to get her comfortable enough to talk.'_

"Would you like some tea, Botan?"

"I'm fine. Don't worry about me, Kurama."

She did not seem as if she wanted to talk, but that only increased my concern for her. My eyebrows had wrinkled and my lips were formed into a frown. "Botan, why wouldn't I worry about you? You have not been acting yourself lately."

"Myself? Well, what was I usually like then, Kurama?"

"You are carefree, optimistic, and cheerful. People always smile and laugh when they are in your company. You have the ability to bring joy into other's lives with your lighthearted personality."

Botan left eyebrow rose as she asked, "Oh, is that also what you truly think of me, Kurama?" I slightly narrowed my eyes suspiciously toward Botan, but her expression was unreadable. Truthfully, I am unsure of her intention for asking such a question, so I hesitantly nodded.

Her eyelids lowered a bit, appearing sad, and she held a small smile, but her eyes were empty and dull. "So I am able to fool even the Great Youko Kurama?"

My chest tightened, and felt as if a block of lead was weighing it down. _'Fool?' _ I was uncertain of her meaning, but her every word was filled with agony, yet I could not help her. I wanted to chase away her pain. I wanted to erase her sorrow. I wanted to embrace, and protect her. However, she did not allow me to reach her. _'Why would you not release your pain, Botan? I am here for you. Why can't you see that I am sharing your every pain?" _

I had calmed myself, and asked,"What, pray tell, do you mean, Botan?"

"Remember the sun, Kurama? Well, have you ever thought that I am wearing a mask…a mask to hide my true emotions? You should know very well that people are not always as they seem. You yourself hide your emotions from the world."

"Why?" I had nearly choked out. Her depression is suffocating. Every breath I take seems to burn my lungs. Botan had shut her eyes, and turned her head away from me. She had bit her lower lip, nearly drawing blood. Her hands had fallen from the towel, and had tightly grasped the fabric of her soaked, blue jeans. I reached out my hand toward her shoulder, attempting to comfort her, but she shook her head. "Pl-lease d-don't t-t-touch m-me, Ku-Kurama." Botan had squeaked out in her trembling voice. I reached further, disregarding her plea, and whispered, "Botan?"

"N-no Ku-ra-ma, yo-ur tou-ch wi-will bre-ak m-me." Botan had managed to wheeze out. Her bottom lip is now bruised with a bloody teeth mark imprinted on it. My heart felt like a lengthy nail was being hammered slowly through it. Every time the hammer struck the nail, a shock of pain would stab at my heart. I saw her lips tremble, blood trickling down from the teeth mark. Her eyes were shut tight, but I noticed one single tear slowly gliding down her face. Suddenly, her eyes shot up, and she flew straight for the window, breaking the glass. My eyes widen with shock. I was too stunned to chase after her. _'Maybe I had pushed her too hard. Kurama no baka. I'm sorry, Botan.'_

_

* * *

_

**Botan's POV**

I was out in the rain, hoping…wishing that the rain could wash away all these horrible memories, and ease this constant pain. I didn't know how long I stood in the rain, but when the rain stopped slapping my face, I had opened my eyes and saw black. _'An umbrella?'_ I had turned and found Kurama, standing beside me with his umbrella, sheltering me from the rain. I had asked Kurama if school was over and when he had answered, I had returned into my land filled with past memories. I wasn't aware of Kurama's question, but I had nodded and followed him. My dream or rather memories were flashing before my eyes. _'A man, a woman, my necklace, the smell of eggs, smiles.' _

I had followed Kurama home, and into his room, still soaking wet. He had given me a towel, and I accepted it. I didn't feel like talking, so when he asked I gave him straightforward answers. Ending any potential conversation. I knew he was worried, but I rejected his concern. _'I had gone through it alone for centuries now. No problem, I can live with it. Then, why do the feel the need to be embraced? I want him to make all my suffering disappear. No, I can handle this alone.'_ I had asked him to describe my usual self. I don't recognize myself anymore. Am I happy, optimistic, and lighthearted? I find it ironic how even a silly ferry girl like me could fool the Great Youko Kurama with my cheery facade. I knew Kurama was shocked and troubled by his facial expression, so I turned away. Denying his efforts to help me, to ease my emotional pain. I couldn't look into his eyes because I was afraid. I was afraid of what I would see. I was afraid that I would not be able to stay strong. I was afraid that I would…I would break. Last night's dream flashed within my mind. _'Blood, horror-struck pink eyes, a beating heart, oozing blood, a man, fresh intestines, blood seeping through my shoes, taunting lavender eyes staring straight through my soul.' _I wished with all my heart that they could leave me alone, but Kami-sama just couldn't grant me this one wish.

I could sense Kurama's hand reach out to me, wanting to comfort me, but I shook my head. I knew that his contact would make my efforts wither. His touch would make me drown in my own emotions. The walls around my heart that took centuries to build would shatter. Tears would stream freely from my eyes. I will fall victim to eternal agony. I will break upon his contact. I could still feel his warm hand reaching out to me, and I knew my rejection was futile. I couldn't think. I felt warm liquid outlining my eyes. I can't hold it in any longer, but I refused to breakdown in front of Kurama. I knew I had overfilled my heart and mind with misery, and I knew I had to let it go. I felt a warm drop of liquid tumble down my cheeks, and I knew I had to escape. Suddenly, I snapped my eyes open, jumped up, crossed my arms in front of my face, and leapt with my full body weight toward the window. I heard the glass shatter, felt the sharp shards of crystal across my flesh, and smelt the coppery scent of my own blood. I couldn't think clearly. All I could think of was run…run straight forward…run and don't look back. I was finally broken.

* * *

Go me! Two chapters at a time. Well, I don't like long chapters, so I had to split it in two. I am trying to get to a certain point before my spring break ends and exams overwhelm me with studies. Oh, and the little poemish thing at the beginning just came to me, so I wrote it. Not very good, but kinda goes with the title. I hope you all enjoy these two chapters b/c it might be a while before I update again, but don't worry. I promise it won't be too long. Thanx for the reviews guys.

MiaHime


	6. Hurt

* * *

Chapter 6: Hurt

* * *

**Botan's POV**

I had promised not to let anyone worry about me, but I couldn't keep that promise. Today, is April the third, the day of the party at Genkai's temple. I'm afraid to face Kurama after the incident, yet I knew that my absence would only increase his concern. I must go and just act natural. I just have to talk and smile. Time seems to be moving fast when your mind is occupied. It's already 5:30 in the afternoon, so I should get ready. I walked over to my closet, and open the wooden door. I took out a knee-length, beige sleeveless dress with prints of green thorn vines, wrapping from the top left shoulder straight down, decorating the bottom edge of the dress. I thought it was an unusual design and it caught my eyes the moment I entered the shop two weeks ago. I tied my baby blue hair in a high ponytail and hopped on my oar, soaring toward Genkai's temple. The damp breeze, tickling my skin refreshed me. _'Botan, you can do this. After today, your life will be back to normal. The past will only be the past.' _I am about a mile away from Genkai's temple, when I caught sight of a redhead and instantly I knew who it was. _'Wow! Great timing.' _I need to straighten things out with Kurama before I reach the temple, so that the others won't be suspicious.' I swooped down behind a huge tree and landed. _'Okay, here I go.'_

I put on my most genuine smile and shouted, "hello, Kurama."

Kurama halted his steps and turned to face me. "Good afternoon, Botan,' he had greeted me, but his voice seems weak, he wasn't in high spirit. I didn't question him because I knew all too well that he was still worried about me, especially after my little impulsive escape. Not to mention shattering his window as if I was a scared cat, trying to escape a mad dog. "Botan, I'm…"

"I'm sorry, Kurama." I had cut him off and apologized before he can. "I didn't mean to offend you, but what happened the other day was unexpected. Everything just seemed to crash that moment and I couldn't control myself. Sorry about your window. I hope you can forgive me."

"No, I should be the one to apologize not you, Botan. I should have been more considerate to you request and not invade your personal space. I'm sorry for my careless action and I hope you won't take the past incident into heart."

"Of course not. We are friends, Kurama. I know you care about me. It's just that there are some things that I would like to handle myself. Since we are fine now, would you like to walk with me to Genkai's temple?"

"The pleasure is mine."

I walked with Kurama, while asking him about his classes, his mother and anything else that doesn't remind him of my problem. He answered in a friendly manner, but a prick in the back of my mind told me that Kurama was not completely satisfied with my explanation about the incident. However, if he had promised not to question me, I know he will keep his promise. Finally, we had reached the temple and I could already hear Yusuke and Kuwabara arguing.

* * *

**Kurama's POV**

I had accompanied Botan to Genkai's temple and when we reached the stairs, I could hear Yusuke and Kuwabara arguing. I heard a soft giggle from Botan and the words "those two will never change," escaped her lips. At the moment, Botan seems so carefree, but I know that such expression is a means to hide her inner emotions. I did not believer her explanation earlier, but I did not want to impose on her personal space. I know that when she's ready, she will open up. I believe that it's best for time to take its toll instead of risking our friendship. As we reached the entrance, I could see Yusuke, grabbing a hold of Kuwabara's shirt and lightening were charging in their eyes. Botan had a sweat drop forming on the back of her head.

"Yusuke, this is a party not a battle ground," Botan shouted. Both Yusuke and Kuwabara broke off, huffing with arms crossed above their chest and backs facing one another. Botan sighed, "it's only seven and they are already at it. I have a feeling it's going to be a long night."

"Good evening, Yusuke and Kuwabara. I see you two are well and energized."

"Shut it, foxboy," Yusuke spat. Keiko walked over and gave him a punch on top of his head. "Don't be rude, Yusuke." "Come on in Kurama and don't mind Yusuke."

"Thank you, Keiko. Don't concern yourself about me. Just continue on with your task. I will be fine."

"Ok, Kurama." Keiko turned around to see Botan, "Botan! You look nice today. Is that a new dress?"

"Thanks, Keiko. Yeah, I liked it the moment I saw it."

Upon Keiko's words I glanced at Botan and finally realized that she was indeed in different attire from her usual jeans and jacket. _'Green thorn vines as a decoration for the beige dress? Interesting.'_ I was so occupied with the incident that I failed to notice before. _'She does look beautiful in that dress.'_ I was startled by my own thought. Many girls have taken interest in my appearance, but when have I taken a girl's appearance into thought? _'Never until now or maybe, it's just due to the fact that I have been concern with her emotional stability.' _ I released those thoughts and noticed Hiei in the corner, looking bored.

"Having fun are we?"

"I suggest you not mess with me, kitsune. This party is a waste of important training time and a fight might just be satisfying right now."

"Well, no threats nor force was inflicted in order to gain you presence, Hiei. Just enjoy the party, now that you've chosen to appear."

"Hn."

Hiei might appear cold externally, but internally he has accepted these people as his friend. He's just not the show-and-tell type of demon.

This party is actually just a social gathering between good friends with some food and a few games. Keiko just brought out a tray of chocolate chip cookies, which Yusuke and Kuwabara are busy devouring as if they had been starved for decades. Keiko and Botan are both talking and laughing. Yukina and Shizuru are having a friendly conversation. The tray of cookies quickly disappeared, leaving a single cookie left. Both Yusuke and Kuwabara had one foot on the table, ready to wrestle for that last cookie.

"I saw it first, Kuwabara."

"Says who? That's my cookie, Uremeshi."

"It's mine, stupid."

"No, it's mine, idiot."

"No, mine, moron."

Both already had their fist up in the air with lightening clashing around their figure. At the moment, Botan decided to step in. "Now, now, boys. Stop acting so childish. It's just one cookie."

"Shut up, Botan. This is between that moron and me."

"Yusuke, don't be rude," shouted Keiko.

"Yeah, Uremeshi. Don't talk to girls that way."

"Don't change the topic, Kuwabara. It's obvious that this last cookie is mine."

"What to bet. I'll fight you for it and beat you to a pulp."

"Yeah, right, you don't even know what a pulp is, Kuwabara."

"That's it, let's take this outside, Uremeshi."

"Boys!" Botan shouted, clearly irritated. "Quit acting like babies over one stupid cookie."

"Shut up, you aren't needed here, Botan."

With Yusuke's words, the entire atmosphere changed. Botan grew quiet, allowing her bangs to cover her eyes, but the air around her grew dark and depressed. I was uncertain of the reason, but I knew everyone could feel the unpleasantness because the entire room became silent. Keiko marched up to Yusuke and banged him on the head, "Yusuke, you idiot!"

"Hey, quit that, Keiko."

Keiko started to walk toward Botan, "Botan, don't mind Yusuke, he doesn't mean it. Botan?" Botan didn't respond nor did she move from her spot. I could sense that she was truly hurt by Yusuke's words, but I'm not sure why. Keiko placed a hand on Botan's shoulder, but Botan shrugged it off.

"Sorry, guys. I need some fresh air," she managed to weakly whisper. With that she turned toward the door and slowly walked out.

I had sensed her depression and I had the urge to walk up and embrace her from behind. To be her shoulder to cry on, to be the person to listen to her problems, but I did not act according to my thoughts. All I could do was watch her shadow, slowing fading from sight.

* * *

**Botan's POV**

When Yusuke told me that I wasn't need; the memories of the past drowned me in deep despair and sorrow. I saw images of him killing, blood splattering every direction, his eyes filled with bloodlust was chasing after me, haunting me. I realized that even after today, I could never escape my past. It will always haunt me, whether in reality or in my dreams. As I got a great distance beyond the temple, I began to sprint. Tears flowing endlessly down my cheeks. I didn't want to feel this pain, and I didn't want to think about the past, but why. This party was supposed to help me forget the past, but why did Yusuke have to say those words. '_Those exact same words he said before he killed me.'_ I was torn, blinded by despair. Pictures, images caused me to relive that moment when the knife punctured my heart. I died physically and emotionally; never shall I trust anyone with all my heart. Betrayal, I've learned the true meaning of that word on that day of April the third. I kept running until my legs gave up, and I tripped and slid across the field of grass. I buried my face and cried with all my heart.

"Well, well, well, what a pleasant surprise?" I heard a voice say, so I slowly looked up into a pair of sky blue eyes.

"You!"

* * *

I'm sorry my loyal reviewers. I know I took so long to update, but I had finals, volunteer work, and a part-time job to worry about. And recently I just bought Karaoke Revolution Party and got very addicted to it so please forgive me. Now that it's summer I will be able to update more frequently, and plus I really want to finish this fic and start another one. Yeah, I'm mean to leave it hanging, but I plan to update soon anyways so don't worry. It will be kind of slow, but after secrets are revealed, things will get more exciting. Anyways, please continue to review and stay toon!

**MiaHime**


	7. Birth and Death

Brace yourself because this is a sad chapter. There's like three curse words in this one, so if it offends you in anyway, you don't have to read. Oh, and it's a bit horrifying for some I think. You have been warned. Now grab a partner, grab some tissues and read on.

* * *

Chapter 7: Birth and Death

* * *

**Kurama's POV**

After Botan's departure, everyone became silent to the point where the night's breeze could be heard, rustling the leaves of the trees. Yusuke and Kuwabara had long stopped their argument. Yusukes' eyebrows were a bit wrinkled and his facial expression had darkened. _'He must be feeling guilty for causing Botan's dismissal?'_ It is approximately ten in the evening, and Botan hasn't returned. The party had not turned out very well. Now everyone in the room felt sadness and missed Botan's cheerful laughs. Even Hiei appeared to be slightly disturbed by Botan's lack of presence. _'Botan, where are you?'_

I glanced over at Hiei, hoping to use his Jagan in order to locate Botan. However, as my eyes met his figure, his eyes snapped open, and instantly, I knew something was amiss. Before Hiei or I could move, an ear piercing scream was heard, startling the birds enough for the whole flock to fly into the night sky. _'No! Botan!' _Hiei, Yusuke, Kuwabara and I, immediately raced out the door toward the source of the scream. We came into a clearing not far from Genkai's temple, and saw a shadow of a figure lying unconscious on the grown. I hurried over, and saw a mass of blue hair above a beige dress. _'It can't be?'_ Although the body's face was buried in the grass and her back, facing upward, I recognized it was Botan. My heart throbbed painfully against my ribs and my breath was caught in my throat. I ran over, and turned her figure over, hoping, wishing that the worse didn't happen. Her face scrunched up, and her chest was still rising and falling. _'You almost gave me a heart attack, Botan.'_

"Botan!" Yusuke and Kuwabara shouted in unison. Hiei's eyes shifted left and right, scanning the area to make sure the enemy had left. Everyone scurried over to Botan to see if she was well. I looked closely at the blood stain on her dress and followed the trail upward toward the source of blood loss. Below her left shoulder, the area between her armpit and her collar bone (clavicle) was a coin-sized hole. _'Grrr…who could have done this to her? That person shall pay.' _

"Kitsune, we have to get her to Yukina immediately."

"I know Hiei."

I lifted her body up in bridal style, so that her head rests on my left shoulder, relieving the pressure on her wound. I quickly sprinted toward the temple and arrived within a few seconds.

"Botan! What happened, Kurama?" Keiko frantically asked, worry clearly etched on her face.

"Botan-san! Is she all right Kurama-san?"

"Yukina, I need you to heal her. She has lost a great amount of blood, so you must close her wound before she dies of blood loss."

"I understand. Please take her to the room down the hall to the right, and leave her in my care Kurama-san." With her words, I nodded, and headed straight to the room. I laid her on an already set futon, and turned to leave. I turned around and glanced at her one more time. _'Please be all right, Botan.'_

"Thank you Yukina." I had said before I moved toward the living room, ready to explain to the girls about Botan's injury.

"Is Botan going to be fine Kurama? What happened to her?" Keiko eyes brows were furrowed and her lips formed a frown as she asked.

"Calm down Keiko. First, I'm not sure who or what caused her injury. When Hiei, Yusuke, Kuwabara and I arrived there, Botan was already wounded and unconscious. Second, Yukina is healing her right this moment, and judging from her wound and Yukina's healing powers, Botan will be fine with plenty of rest." With my reassurance, Keiko had breath a sigh of relief.

"What kind of horrible person would hurt Botan like that?" As Keiko's question escaped her lips, Hiei, Yusuke and Kuwabara returned.

"I see you all are back. What delayed you?"

"Oh, shorty here decided to stay and see if there are any clues to this bastard, who tried to kill Botan."

"Hn, if the detective was smart enough, I wouldn't have to remind him."

"Hiei, did you find any traces?"

"No, this one is smart; I couldn't even detect any traces of body odor. He probably hid both his smell and energy. However, I did recognize that he is not human."

"Is he a demon then?"

"I am unable to clarify. So, is that ferry onna alive kitsune?"

"Yukina is healing her at the moment. I'm sure she will survive, but she will need plenty of rest."

"If I find that bastard that did this to her, I'll pound him six feet under."

"Yeah, Uremeshi's right, no one treats a woman that way."

I could wait to deal with this new enemy later, but right now I'm concerned about Botan's health. It still bothers me though, why did he/she attack Botan? What purpose would Botan's death serve or was that person's intention only to give the Spirit Detectives a warning?

"Kitsune, what do you think the enemy's intentions are?"

"I'm not sure Hiei, I have been thinking…" My sentence was cut off when Yukina walked out toward the living room.

Keiko instantly leapt up in front of Yukina and asked, "Yukina, is she going to be all right? Is she going to die?"

"Don't worry Keiko-san. Although, Botan-san has lost a lot of blood, she will survive. I am only able to partially heal her, therefore I had bandaged up her wound. Now her muscles and tissues need time to repair themselves, so she'll need plenty of rest."

"Oh, Thank the Gods, and thank you Yukina."

"No, I'm glad that I'm able to help Botan-san."

"You should all be tired now," said Shizuru. "I'll look after Botan for tonight and if there are any changes in her condition, I'll tell you. Now go to sleep."

I shared a room with Hiei. I sat with my back against the wall with one knee bent and arm resting on it. Hiei claimed the windowsill with arms crossed across his chest. "What are on your thoughts, kitsune."

"I was just thinking that Botan's injury was a warning to us."

"It may be, but it's too early to judge."

"I agree."

"Hn. You're worried about the onna."

"Yes Hiei."

"You like her."

"I believe so."

"You love her."

"I was uncertain before, but when I almost lost her tonight, I am sure that I have fallen in love with her."

"Hn. You should sleep kitsune."

I closed my eyes, but could not sleep. I was still thinking about Botan's injury, and the enemy's intention, but there aren't any leads to the enemy's intention or his/her identity. My thought kept wondering until I fell into a troublesome sleep.

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**Botan's POV**

I woke up in, and the ceiling was spinning. I had a terrible headache as if there were angry gorillas constantly pounding on my head. I glanced to my right and noticed Shizuru asleep beside me. I tried to get up, but my left shoulder ached and I felt really weak. Suddenly, the incident in the forest crashed on me. I narrowed my eyes and clinched my fists. He came and tried to kill me again as if my death in the past was not good enough. _'Oh, who does he think he is?'_ It took a lot of effort, but I finally got off the futon. I walked out the door, but felt drained and lightheaded so I leaned on the door frame. I was heading toward the living room, but a voice stopped me.

"You should rest."

"Oh, Kurama, I thought everyone would be asleep."

"I have keen ears."

"Yeah, you are after all a demon."

"Here, let me help you."

"Thanks Kurama. I just wanted to go sit on the couch."

"Are you feeling well now?"

"Yes, I'm okay. Don't worry Kurama."

"I know it is not a very good time to ask, but do you know who attacked you. If you are unwell, you do not need to answer me."

My face dropped a bit, but I still continued to talk, "No, it's okay Kurama, but could I tell you when everyone is here? I don't want to have to repeat the story."

"That's fine with me. Maybe you should rest."

I yarned and said, "Yes, I am tired. I don't think I have the strength to walk back to my room. I'll just sleep here. Do you mind Kurama?" Before, I waited for an answer I've fallen asleep on Kurama's shoulder.

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**Kurama's POV**

I awoke to something poking my right shoulder. My eyes fluttered open to find Hiei, staring at me.

"Kitsune, if you don't want the idiots to question you, then I suggest you don't get too comfortable."

I was wondering what Hiei meant and then it dawned on me. Last night, I had sensed that Botan had woken up and immediately went to assist her. We were talking and she fell asleep on my shoulder. I didn't want to wake her, so I allowed her to sleep. Then I fell asleep. I glanced to the right and as expected was Botan's sleeping figure with her head on my shoulder. I gently lifted her head off my shoulder, and laid her down on the couch.

"Thank you Hiei. You're up early?"

"Demons don't need much sleep, and I have morning trainings."

"The guys should be awake soon. I spoke to Botan last night, and she said she would inform us about the enemy once everyone is present."

"I will go train. Call me when the group is up."

Once Hiei left, the temple became quiet. I gazed at Botan's sleeping form and thought how adorable and peaceful she appeared. No pain. No sorrow. I wished she could always be this way, but she still refuses to share her emotions. Suddenly, her face turned sour with a frown clearly plastered on her face and she shook her head from side to side.

"Why, no, why did you do that? No get away, get away from me."

"Botan? Botan, wake up."

"Nooo!" Botan's eyes snapped open and tears ran down her cheeks.

"K-kurama?" As I heard my name, Botan had wrapped her arms around my neck and sobbed onto my shoulder. I rubbed her back, trying to soothe her.

"It's okay, Botan. I'm here; no one is going to hurt you." She cried for about five minutes and sniffed once, then twice and released me.

"I'm sorry Kurama. I guess I held my tears for too long that it just overflowed."

"No need to apologize, I'm glad you released your bottled up emotions. It's not healthy to keep them locked up." _'And it hurts me to see you in so much pain.'_

"I heard a scream and…Botan! Are you all right?"

"Don't worry Keiko, I just had a nightmare. I'm fine now."

"Great to see you up Botan."

"Yeah, you almost died back there."

"Thanks Yusuke, Kuwabara and everyone."

"Well, since everyone's awake, I know you guys have questions and I will answer them. " Her voice was weak and sad, but everyone waited patiently for her to continue. "Wait, where's Hiei?"

"He is training, but I have informed him of your awake. He should be here in a minute." The instant I finished my sentence, Hiei appeared in the corner of the living room.

Botan had sat down with her knees on the floor, resting herself comfortable above her heels. I took a seat next to her and the rest of the group gathered, except Hiei, who stood in the corner with his arms crossed. "Okay, listen carefully," said Botan.

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**Botan's POV**

"The enemy is related to my past, so I'll have to tell you guys about my past first." I became nervous and frightened, but I knew everyone deserves to know after what happened last night. He could be a threat not only to me, but the others, so they are in danger because of my refusal to inform them about my previous life. I began to fell prickles of needles in my left shoulder, and knew that my wound has not completely closed. However, I must get this over with and I know that everyone is very anxious.

"It was April the third, my birthday and my death date…"

_------- Flashback -------_

_It was the morning of April the third. A girl with azure hair wakes up to the sounds of birds chirping and when se looked out the window, Sakura petals were swaying and fluttering in the wind. She smiled and changed into a white, long-sleeved blouse with a red ribbon tied around her collar, and a navy blue skirt that reached her knees. She walked down the stairs prepared to leave for school._

_When she reached the kitchen, a woman in a simple light blue, sleeveless dress, reaching her ankles was seen cooking at the stove. She had the most beautiful and sparkling soft pink eyes and golden long hair that reach her waist. A man sat at the kitchen table reading newspaper. He had azure hair and violet eyes. He was wearing a set of black business suit with a maroon undershirt and matching tie._

"_Good morning mom and dad," greeted the girl._

"_Good morning dear. There's blueberry pancakes today. Just have a seat."  
_

_The man had set his paper down, stood up and walked behind the young girl's seat. He placed a necklace around her neck and said, "Happy Birthday Botan."_

_Botan touched the silver chain lovingly and saw that the pendant was unique. It was a stone that matched her eye color with a silver circle surrounding it, so that every time she moved the stone would bump into the circle and make a jingling sound. _

_She stood up and gave her father a peck on his cheek and went over to give her mother a hug. "Thank you mom and dad. I love it!"_

"_Now dear, eat up and go to school, but come home right after. There's another surprise waiting for you."_

"_Okay, I'm off."_

_Botan skipped happily home after school, anxious to know what other surprise was waiting for her. When she reached her house in the forest, she burst through the door and yelled, "Oka-san! Oto-san! Tadaima! (Mom, Dad, I'm home: hoped I spelled it right.)"_

_Botan was not greeted with warm smiles, but she was greeted with a pool of crimson red in the kitchen, and a coppery smell invaded her nose. Her father's body laid facing upward on the ground, his mouth in a wide O shape and his eyes were wide open with shock and fear. His intestines were hanging out from a slit on his stomach. Her mother's body was lying lifeless downward, but her head was turned to the side. Her eyes were dull and empty, staring straight at Botan. A figure kneeled beside her mother's body with what appeared to be a heart in his left hand and a kitchen knife in his right hand. His hands were dripping with fresh warm blood and the heart was still beating in his left hand. He glanced up at Botan with sky blue eyes filled with bloodlust and a slanted grin plastered on his face showed amusement. _

"_M-mother? F-father? W-w-why? Why did you kill them?" There was no answer. The figure stood up and slowly took a step toward Botan, and she took a step back. "Why did you do this? Mom and Dad always loved you. I respected and admired you. Why did you...why did you betray my trust?" Hot tears were pouring from Botan's eyes and her eyes shone with pain, raw, unbearable pain. _

_The figure kept on walking, never answering any of her questions. Botan was hurt and scared. Suddenly, she bolted through the door and ran. She ran as fast as her legs can carry her. Tear continuously streaming down her cheeks and blurring her vision, but she knew she had to get away. Then she tripped over her own leg and injured her knee. She couldn't get up. She was physically and emotionally exhausted, so she laid there and cried. She knew she couldn't escape now, might as well join her parents in the other world. The figure's shadow inched closer and closer toward her, but she could not move. He turned her over with is left hand, grabbing her neck and stared right into her eyes. Amusement danced like flames in his eyes as he watched her pain and fear, flickering within her soft pink orbs. He lifted the knife high up in the air, and laughed in a deep, spine-chilling voice, when her eyes widened and dulled. The knife plunged downward instantly stabbing through Botan's heart, but no scream could be heard because his left hand had securely griped her throat blocking her vocal cord. He stood up with a smirk and turned around to leave, not waiting until she takes her last breath. The guy's figure fades into the background as Sakura petal drizzle down, onto the girl's motionless form._

_------- End of Flashback -------_

" And as I took my last breath, I heard a whisper along the breeze saying, you are not needed anymore."

As I finished my story, I could not stand this pain. My stomach was churning, and my heart was pounding its way out of my chest. I bit my lips hard enough to bruise it, but I still could not stop my tears from flowing down my cheeks. I had gripped the fabric of my dress until my knuckles whitened. I didn't want to retell the story nor did I want to relive this horrible pain. I could feel warm blood on my shoulder, but I didn't care. What pain could be worse than reliving the past you wanted to forget? My wound did not matter, life did not matter, and I just wanted to completely forget my past. Is that too much to ask? I hate being a ferry girl, I hate seeing death everyday, I hate being reminded about my own death and I hate him the most.

"Oh, Botan." Keiko was also stained with tears for she had felt my sadness.

"Botan, I'm sorry." Yusuke's voice was pained and I knew he felt guilty for telling me I wasn't needed at the party. It wasn't his fault, he didn't know.

"Who's that bastard. I swear I'll roast him alive," Yusuke shouted.

"Yeah Botan, who's the guy? He need to be cut up and dumped in the trashcan," Kuwabara screamed.

I didn't have the strength to answer those questions and I couldn't stop my tears from flowing. My wound began to throb, and I felt sick. My visions began to blur and voices sound much like distant echoes in my ears.

"Botan, why won't you answer us?" I had heard Keiko's fuzzy voice.

"Botan…" Was all I heard before it went pitch black.

* * *

Sorry, it was way longer than I intended to make it, but I'm sure you've got what you've wanted. I used the same curse word, but I don't like the f word, or the b word that rhymes with witch so my cursing shouldn't be all that bad. But this unknown person's identity will not be revealed until maybe chapter nine or ten. This was 8 pages on word, but I'm sure I answered some questions. Hope I didn't scare or sadden you too much. Please review, it will really get me going and updating sooner! Thanks, I'm out!

MiaHime


	8. Who's in the Shadow?

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_"Telepathic communication"_**

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho!**_  
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**Chapter 8: Who's in the Shadow?**

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**Kurama's POV**

It's been two weeks since Botan's injury, and things appear normal. Right after Botan's wound healed, she continued her ferrying assignment. We didn't get a chance to ask her about the identity of the mysterious person, who tried to kill her. After that night, Botan haven't visited Genkai's temple. It seems that she's attempting to avoid us. _'But why? Perhaps she needs time to heal.'_ Since Botan's revelation of her past, the group seems more depressed than usual. Yusuke and Kuwabara don't argue as much. Keiko and Yukina's thoughts seem occupied. Even Hiei appears exceptionally quiet and distant. Our group is crumbling without Botan. _'If only she was here right now.'_

"Kurama, watch out!" _'Huh? Botan?' _I turned my head toward the direction of the shout, but something flew in and knocked me to the ground. I felt a weight on my chest, and when I glanced down, I saw an azure head of hair. My lips itched to form a smile, but I kept a neutral expression and mused to myself, _'So wishes do come true.'_

"Uh, I don't feel so good." I heard her mumble. She rubbed her head. She slowly gaze upward, blushed and instantly leapt up, only to trip and fall backward. "Ouch, just my luck." I couldn't suppress my amusement and let out a chuckle. "Here let me give you a hand."

"Oh thanks, and sorry about the crash Kurama. I was in a hurry and tried to dodge a tree branch, then a bird flew out of nowhere, so I swerved to the left and saw you, but couldn't stop, and I'm just very sorry." Botan had given a hasty explanation, then puts on her puppy dog face, pleading for forgiveness. A smile spread on my face. _'Who could stay angry at that face?"_

"Nothing to worry about Botan, I'm fine. I was just a bit startled."

Botan smiled brilliantly at me and said, "Of course, one collision can't defeat the Great Youko Kurama."

I began to chuckle again. "Thank you for acknowledging the Great Youko Kurama." I mocked and folded my right arm at my stomach and gave her a bow. With such action, I earned a giggle from Botan. Another smile crawled on my face. _'I haven't heard that sweet giggle in a while.'_ It appears as if Botan's presence alone can make me smile.

"What brings you here Botan?"

Botan stopped giggling when she heard my question. A partial frown played on her lips and her expression was troubled. Her gaze shifted to her feet, attempting to avoid eye contact.

"W-we have a mission." _'Why is she stuttering?' _ She took a deep breath and lifted her head; her eyes turned serious. "We have a new mission. I'll contact the others to meet at Genkai's temple, so I can explain."

My expression became neutral as well.

"Kurama, could you try to get in touch with Hiei? I could never find him and if I was lucky enough to, I could never convince him to come with me."

"I understand. I will contact Hiei and meet you at Genkai's temple."

"Thanks, see you soon." With that, Botan summoned her oar and flew off toward the sky. _'Why had her expression suddenly changed by the mention of the mission? Well, I will find out at the meeting. Now to find Hiei.'_

As expected, Hiei was resting on a tree in, what is now nicknamed, Hiei's park. "Conserving energy, I see. What happened to precious training time?"

"Mind your own business kitsune. What do you want?"

"We have a new mission and Botan's meeting us at Genkai's temple."

"So the ferry onna decided to show up to give us another mission."

"Come Hiei, we should meet up with the others." Hiei fazed out of the tree and dashed off toward Genkai's temple.

"Hn. Too slow kitsune."

"I'm just warming up."

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**Botan's POV**

I had contacted everyone, including the girls. Since this mission came up, I have had a bad feeling. When I arrived at Genkai's temple everyone was disturbingly quiet, especially Yusuke and Kuwabara. _'Those two are always arguing, but…' _I attempted to lighten the mood. "Hi guys! We have a new mission." I said probably too happy even for me.

"Hey Botan." Keiko had weakly attempted. _'I knew this would happen.'_

Then Kurama came in followed by Hiei. "Too slow Hiei."

"Shut up kitsune."

"Hi guys! Join the group." Even with Kurama and Hiei's entrance, the room was still dead silent. I could hear everyone's breathing and heartbeat. I grew irritated, and decided to speak.. "Okay guys, why do you all look like your father just died?"

Yusuke stood up with a hard look on his face. He had never looked this serious since the Dark Tournament. He stared into my eyes with his chocolate orbs, looking annoyed. "Why do you act as if nothing happened Botan." Yusuke nearly spat in my face.

"What is your problem Yusuke?" I could feel my emotions rushing at me. Anger and at the same moment hurt. _'Yusuke never yelled at me like this before.'_ I could feel warm tears trapped behind my eyes, ready to slide down any second now.

"What is my problem" You are Botan! You were attacked and nearly died, then you told us your past and ran off, working without contacting us for two weeks. Now you just waltz in here all happy and tell us we have a new mission. What the hell is your problem Botan?"

I clinched my fist and grinded my teeth at his statement. I glared solidly at Yusuke, "How dare you! Have you ever thought why I left, and why I didn't contact any of you for two weeks? Have you ever thought that maybe I needed some time alone. I don't want to face any one of you. I don't want sympathy nor do I want to be treated like fragile glass that would breath with one touch. I've known you longer than anyone on this team, yet you don't understand me at all. So back off Yusuke!" I was breathing hard now. I was frustrated, but I will not break down now, not when everyone thinks I'm weak. I had to stand strong and prove them wrong.

"Apparently, I'm not welcome here." I took out a manila folder and slammed it on the table. "Here is your new mission. Accept it or not, you don't have to tell me. Just inform Koenma. Goodbye!" I slowly walked toward the door with my fists cliched tight, but then I stopped. "I wanted to trust you guys, but maybe I shouldn't have." I had uttered without turning around. With that said I walked out the door, immediately summoned my oar, and shot off toward the sky. _'Why…why does life have to be so hard?_

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**Kurama's POV**

The room was awkwardly silent after Botan left. Then Keiko spoke up, "Why?…Why did you have to go and make Botan leave when she finally came? You were very depressed and worried when she left and you made her leave again. Why Yusuke?"

"Yeah man, why'd you do that Uremeshi?"

Yusuke's face fell, his eyebrows wrinkled, he held one hand to his face, and spoke up without making eye contact. "I-I didn't mean to. I had been worried ever since she left and now that she showed up, I became angry that she had made us worry about her without thinking how we felt. I-I…my emotions just exploded. I'm such an idiot! What have I done?"

"Oh, Yusuke." Keiko had embraced him in a hug to console him.

"Why don't we examine the file Botan had left?" I had suggested.

I opened the file to reveal pictures of humans with their intestines, lingering outside of their bodies and some with their chest sliced open and their hearts missing. _'This seems familiar.'_ Then I realized those pictures resemble how Botan's parents died. Hiei seemed to have noticed as well with that frown etched on his face. "That's how Botan's parents died!" Yusuke, Kuwabara, and Keiko shouted in unison.

"Urgh, that is sick man!" Kuwabara exclaimed.

"Kitsune." Hiei said with a pinch of warning in his voice.

I nodded, my eyes shone with determination, and I stood up. "I know Hiei. We must search for Botan at once. Keiko, you and the girls should remain at the temple."

"I-I understand." Keiko knew something was wrong, but she didn't question any further. Yusuke, Kuwabara, Hiei and I stood and raced toward the door. _'Botan.'_

Once we descended the flight of stairs, I asked Hiei to search for Botan with his jagan. Hiei started to sprint toward the forest that led to the beach, not far from the temple. When we reached Botan, we saw a figure, standing behind her with his hands on her shoulder. Botan's body was stiff, and her eyes were wide like a deer's eyes caught in headlights. Her mouth was slightly open, but no words came out. Upon closer inspection, the shadowed figure seems to have a smirk, playing on his lips. However a cloud was shielding the sun's rays, shadowing his figure.

"Ah, now we could get the party started," I heard a deep, yet teasing voice say.

Suddenly, Hiei drew his katana and leapt forward, attempting to slice the figure's left arm, but in that instant he moved Botan and used her as a shield. Hiei barely withdrew his blade and reappeared on the ground "Tsk, tsk, tsk, I wouldn't do that if I were you."

'_Hiei usually isn't impulsive. What's wrong with him?'_

"Hiei, don't be reckless."

"State your intention stranger."

"Straightforward, I like that. Well, as you can probably guess, I already have what I came here for."

"Who the hell do you think you are?" Yusuke had shouted out of frustration.

"You might have your prize in hand, but I assure you that you won't be able to escape."

"Oh, and why wouldn't I?"

I could feel my body temperature rising and I fixed my glare toward the shadowed figure. "Because you would be dead before you can even take one step."

"Hahahahaha! Such confidence." The cloud had past over and the sun shone brightly over the shadowed figure, revealing a head of navy blue hair that stopped at the base of his neck. His bangs covered the side of his face, stopping at mid-ear, and his eyes were sky blue, almost the color of Botan's hair. His face turned cold and his piercing glare was directed toward me, but I did not flinch. "I'm afraid you won't be able to fulfill such a threat."

"And why not?" I had tauntingly asked.

"Let me show you a little trick and we'll see if it won't change your mind." His face shone with complete confidence and a wide smile was engraved on his lips.

He removed his left hand from Botan's shoulder, who was just mute and stiff, never uttering a word or scream for help. He made an incision on his palm and used his right hand to lift Botan's body up by her right wrist. A gray aura outlined his body while a pink aura outlined Botan's body. I felt the intensity of his spirit energy overpowering Botan's. Then Botan's face turned sour, sweat trickling down the side of her face. The pink flowed from Botan's body toward her right wrist, traveling up to the opponent's right arm, which seemed to intermix with his gray aura. An ear piercing scream came from Botan and she fainted. The wound on his palm had completely sealed up without leaving behind any type of scar.

"You see, whatever injury you inflict upon my body, dear Botan here will suffer worse pains."

I grind my teeth together and a growl rumbled within my throat. _'Grr…how dare he use Botan as a shield? The enemy's capabilities are a mystery, and any wrong moves will only hurt Botan? Think! How can we safely rescue Botan?_

"You asshole, let her go now!" shouted Yusuke. "Let her go or I'll blast your brains out." He lifted a finger and stood in his spirit gun stance, a blue glow of light, flickering on the tip of his finger.

The stranger lifted Botan's limp body in front of him. "Does that mean you would even sacrifice Botan here? Hah, some friends you have."

"Quit talking crap and fight like a man. Only wimps hide behind girls." shouted Kuwabara as he gripped his spirit sword in hand.

"Heh. Fine, you can have her." With that said, his eyes glittered with mischief, and a smirk clearly displayed on his lips. He tossed Botan's body high up in the air. "That is if you can catch her." If Botan falls from that height, she will most likely die. _'No Botan!'_ **_"Hiei, locate the guy." _**I had sent Hiei a telepathice message and immediately sprinted toward Botan. I leapt to catch her. However, when I caught her, the guy appeared behind me and punched me in the back, sending me flying toward a tree. I reacted by thrusting my body around so that I'd crash into the tree instead of Botan. I hazily notice Hiei appearing behind the enemy in mid-air, but the enemy disappeared and reappeared underneath Hiei. He caught his leg and swung Hiei with one swift motion toward a nearby tree. Hiei crashed into it with a scowl traced on his face.

"The fun has just begun. I'm not done with her yet. Until we meet again." His eyes glowed with malice as he disappeared into the darkness of the forest.

"Hiei!" Both Yusuke and Kuwabara shouted.

"Humph, rather than worrying about me, you should go check on that ferry onna, detective."

"Botan! Kurama! Are you two okay?"

"Yeah man, that must be painful."

"It's nothing I can't handle, but we better take Botan to Yukina right away."

"Right, here let me carry her Kurama, since you're injured too."

"Alright Yusuke, you better hurry."

"Got it." Yusuke immediately dashed toward the temple with Botan securely in his arms and Kuwabara running beside him.

"Hiei, what do you think?"

"He doesn't have any trace of demonic energy, but he isn't human either."

"Would we have a chance of defeating him in battle?"

"His power is unknown. His speed is comparable to mine, but he's also clever with suppressing his spirit energy. I couldn't track him with my jagan. Since his target is the ferry onna, you should keep an eye on her. Also, she's probably acquainted with the enemy.

"Why would you say that?"

"Her eyes. If it was just a newly found enemy, then she wouldn't have feared him to such an extent."

"I see. I believe we should head back before the others worry."

"Hn. You're just concern about the ferry onna."

"I could say the same to you. You were unusaully rash tonight. Care to explain Hiei?" By this time I was smiling at Hiei's failed attempt to embarrass me.

"Shut up kitsune before your injury worsens."

"Is that a threat?"

"Whatever." Hiei grumbled, and ran off.

My smile faltered as I thought,_ 'Whatever is happening Botan, I will always protect you.'_

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Sorry for the delay, apparently I was given extra work hours for my part-time job, I had volunteer work and haven't been feeling well lately. Poor Yusuke, he always says the wrong things at the wrong time. And he always seems to be part of the cause whenever Botan gets hurt, but he was the perfect candidate for this job. I think Hiei is un-Hiei-like in this chapter, so sorry if he's out of character. Anyways, it's here. Identity revealed next chapter! Review and make me happy, so I'd update sooner! Thanks for reading!

MiaHime


	9. He's Your What!

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho!

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Chapter 9: He's Your What!

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**Kurama's POV**

"Ahhhh!" I heard a scream from across the hall, and instantly I recognized that it was Botan. I immediately ran out and entered the guest room that Botan is currently residing in. The moment I opened the door, I was meet with Botan's terror filled orbs. I noticed that her eyes lost its soft pick color; it is now a duller shade of pink. Her right hand was clutching the front fabric of her shirt, where her heart is located, and her bangs were glued to her face, soaking with sweat. She was inhaling large gulps of air with every breath she takes. "Botan, are you all right?" I had asked with concern laced in my voice. Botan opened her mouth as if ready to speak, but she decided to close it and slowly nodded toward me. I heard a stampede of footsteps down the hall and knew that the whole gang must have been alerted by Botan's scream. The next instant, the entire gang burst through the door, yelling, "Botan!"

We had all moved to the dinning area, and Botan had sat down on the couch, holding a cup of warm tea with both her hands. She stared at the cup, never glancing toward anyone. She inhaled deeply while closing her eyes and exhaled as she open them again.

"I guess you guys want to know who attacked me." The room was silently waiting for Botan to continue. "But first, have you all looked over the files on the new mission?"

Botan looked up for a minute and everyone, except the girls, nodded.

"Then, hopefully you realized that those victims suffered the same fate as my parents."

"Urg! Who can forget? Those pictures were disgusting," exclaimed Kuwabara.

"Well, the person who killed my parents was also the one responsible for my death and those innocent lives of the past two weeks." Botan took a sip of the warm tea, and sighed.

"Two hundred and thirty seven years ago, before I died, that guy's name was Daisuke...my nii-san." Botan paused for a moment, allowing for the information to sink in.

Keiko gasped; Shizuru held her cigarette above her mouth and just stared at Botan. Yukina lifted her hand in front of her mouth and uttered, "Oh my." Both Yusuke and Kuwabara shot up, kneeling with the left knee, while their right foot is on the ground as if ready to stand up any minute. Both their hands were on the table, leaning in closer with eyes wide open and shouted, "What!" For the first time, Hiei's unemotional façade slipped, displaying a hint of surprise with his eyes slightly wider than usual. My eyes widened a fraction; I was speechless. I felt chocked as if there was an enormous boulder, weighing my heart down. I really wanted to say something, to do something, to console her, but I didn't know what I can do. However, something sparked in my mind. _'Something just doesn't seem to add up.'_

My expression shifted back to neutral, and I spoke, "Botan, but the identification on the file read Kuraki, not Daisuke."

"Like I had said, Daisuke was his name before he killed me, so he must have changed his name, but he is definitely the same person." Her grip tightened on the cup of tea, and her tone was laced with hatred as she said, "I can never forget his face."

"There is something I do not understand though. If he was your brother, then should he not be human? Yet, when we confronted him, Hiei was certain that he was neither human nor demon. How is that possible?"

Botan slightly relaxed her grip, and her tone became normal. "Sorry, I'm not sure myself, but I am sure that he was human once. I don't know how he lived through all these years, but I know that he must be stopped." Botan took another sip of tea. "You guys can think about it before you accept this mission." She set the cup on the table. "Excuse me, I need some fresh air." Botan stood up, headed toward the front porch, and sat down.

'_Should I approach her or…?'_ Before I could decide, I heard Yusuke breath a sigh, stood straight up, and walked over to the porch.

* * *

**Botan's POV**

I was sitting on the porch, subconsciously gazing at the crescent moon and starless night, trying to calm my thoughts. I heard footsteps coming my way, but I didn't turn around.

"Botan, can I sit?" I heard Yusuke's voice asked. I nodded without looking at him. Now I felt bad about our argument earlier because I knew he cares about me, but it pained me that he would yell at me without thinking. Then again, that is the Yusuke I know, and care about. I don't want us to feel awkward around each other. _'Okay, be brave Botan!'_ I turned toward Yusuke with a sincere smile, forming on my lips. "It's so peaceful at night, right Yusuke?"

Yusuke turned his gaze away from me, and look toward the ground, "I'm sorry Botan. It's my fault you got hurt." Although he turned away, I could tell that he's frowning.

"Yusuke?" I was met with silence. I sighed and gently placed my hands on both of his shoulders. "Yusuke, look at me." Yusuke slowly turned his gaze, and I was met with sad, guilty eyes. My heart sank; I never meant to hurt my friends. I need to make things better. I put on a gentle, caring tone, and said, "Yusuke, it's not your fault. You never wished for any of this to happen. You save me, didn't you? I should be the one who's sorry for being so harsh with you earlier. You are, after all, my best friend." I had finished with a warm smile to reassure him.

"Twice Botan." I had heard him whisper. " Twice, I had made you run off, and almost got killed!" Yusuke had nearly yelled, clinching his fist, "It's all my fault!" He punched the wooden floored pouch, nearly shattering it.

Yusuke had sat back, letting his arms fall limply on his sides with his head tilted down, bangs covering his eyes, and he sighed, "You're right Botan, I don't even know you that well. You trusted me, but all I did was hurt you. I don't deserve to be your best friend. I don't even deserve to be your friend."

My eyes grew huge and pleading with big teardrops, hanging from the edge ready to fall, and my voice cracked, "(sniff, sniff)…Does that mean you hate me?" Yusuke looked up toward me, and was shocked, leaning back with wide eyes and mouth moving up and down like a fish. "Wait! N-no, d-don't cry! T-that's n-not! B-but..but..."

"(Sniff, sniff)…Yusuke h-hates me. M-my best f-friend really h-hates me." Yusuke was waving his hand in front of his face, palms facing me, "No, Botan, don't cry. Ahh, what should I do. I didn't mean….I'm an idiot." His face was struck with horror and his hands dug into his hair. "Ahhhhhh!"

"Hahahaha, Yusuke, hahaha, you should see, haha, the look on your face. Hahaha!" I was clutching my stomach because it hurts so much for laughing so hard, but it was worth it.

"What!" Yusuke shouted with shocking wide eyes. His hands dropped from his head, and he pointed an accusing finger at me. "You were faking?"

"Bingo!" I winked. I took a deep breath and stopped laughing, but a smile was playing on my lips. "But you feel better now that's all that matters. Now the same old Yusuke is back."

"Eheheh." Yusuke scratched the back of his head with an awkward smile tugging at his lips. "I knew that! I was just playing along."

I gave him a suspicious look. "Uhuh." I rolled my eyes. "Sure Yusuke."

I started to laugh again. _'Yep! Just like old times.'_

"Botan, I…" I looked up at him with a warm smile. "Hmm?"

A small thankful smile spread on Yusuke's lips. "I missed you, Botan."

I embraced Yusuke in a friendly hug, "I missed you too." I released him from the hug, and gave him a gleaming smile. Yusuke returned it with one of his silly grins.

"Let go back then."

I closed my eyes, and shook my head, still smiling. "I want to watch the moon for a bit longer."

"Okay." Yusuke stood up, and walked inside with one hand in his pocket.

* * *

**Kurama's POV**

The boulder above my heart is felling lighter now. Botan had always had the ability to cheer others up. A smile hung on my lips as I walked outside to the porch, "Feeling better now?"

"Yeah, thanks Kurama." Botan had replied without shifting her gaze from the moon.

"Doesn't the night give you a nostalgic feeling?"

I had sat down beside her, and stared at the moon, "Yes, it does." I had whispered, remembering my thieving days as Youko Kurama.

"Well, shall we go for a walk then Kurama?" I turned to meet Botan's soft pink orbs. I smiled as a sign of approval.

Botan slowly strolled deeper into the forest, and I followed beside her, neither of us spoke. Botan approached a mighty pine tree and sat down. From my judgment, we should be approximately a mile from the temple. I followed suit, and sat beside her. "Kurama, have you ever felt lonely?"

'_I have in my past.' _I thought, but didn't speak. I could hear the crickets buzzing, and the gentle breeze, soothing the warm, night spring air.

"I've always felt isolated after I died. I would always wake up, sweating from the nightmare of my past. I didn't understand why I hadn't followed my parents, when I should have. At some point, I hated my existence in this world, neither am I alive nor am I dead. But then I met Yusuke, and became his assistant. Then I met you guys, and I felt the void in my heart slowly filling. I started to laugh, be angry, be demanding, be more of myself, and I cherish those moments." She paused for a moment, and a reminiscent smile spread across her lips.

"But then I feared that those happy times were all a dream, which would disappear once I woke up. I wanted so much to stay with everyone. But, I was afraid that my past would ruin everything we have together so at a point I avoided talking to you because I knew out of all of us, you would be able to find out the truth. You understand, right Kurama?"

She gazed at me with hope dancing in her eyes. I gently smiled, and nodded in acknowledgement.

"Then when Yusuke yelled at me, my world crumbled. I knew they couldn't see me the same way. I'm will no longer be the cheerful, carefree ferry girl in their hearts." Botan paused with a sigh.

"But…but when I woke up in Genkai's temple, I knew that no matter what, you all still care about me. I was so happy, but at the same time I grew scared. I was scared of putting everyone in danger. I knew that Dai…no, Kuraki will stop at nothing until I'm dead, even if it means killing everyone around me." Botan began fiddling with her fingers, and her eyes were hidden by her bangs. "I'm very…" '_I need to comfort her. No, I want to comfort her_.'Before I knew it, my body had responded to my thoughts; I had leaned in closer, and embraced her.

My eyes were shut, and I began gently rubbing her back. "Shhhh…Don't be afraid. We will always protect you Botan," I whispered in her ear. "If we could survive through the Dark Tournament and Sensui, then Kuraki should not be a problem. You should have more faith in us."

Botan broke from my embrace, and gazed intently at me, "but I still…"

"Don't you trust us?" _'Don't you trust me?'_

"I…" Botan looked down for a moment, then back up at me, and nodded.

A gentle smile spread on my lips to reassure her, but I knew that she still held a sense of insecurity_I just hope you can truly trust me one day, Botan.'_

"Then we will fight for you."

Botan leaned in and quickly gave me a peck on my cheek. "Thank you Kurama," Botan said with her eyes shut, fully smiling.

I felt a rush of heat rising toward my cheeks, and knew that I was blushing, but luckily Botan's eyes were shut. We sat there silently for a minute while my blush subsided. Botan opened her eyes, tilts her head to the side, and asked, "Should we go back now?"

"We have been out here for some time now. We should head back before the others worry." I started to stand up, but noticed that Botan hadn't move from her position.

She looked at me, places a hand behind her head and smiles. "Teehee…I think my legs went to sleep. Do you think you could help me Kurama?"

I stood up first, and then extended a hand toward Botan. "Here, let me give you a hand." When I pulled Botan up, she stumbled over, and I quickly placed my arm around her waist to support her while her head leaned on my shoulder. I felt my heartbeat quicken, and a blush threatened to form on my cheeks.

"Hehe…Sorry Kurama, I'm so clumsy."

I opened my mouth to speak, but felt a lump in my throat. I look a breath to calm me heart down, and then answered, "No it's fine. Why don't you just lean on my shoulder, and we will walk back slowly toward the temple."

"Okay."

There was an awkward silence on our walk back. The silence was unnerving, but before I could start a conversation, I heard Botan's giggles.

"A penny for your thoughts?"

"I was just thinking you smell very good Kurama." I could feel that same rush of heat creeping toward my cheeks. "You smell just like roses, and I guess it's because you hide roses behind your long hair. Is that why you have long hair?"

I felt her eyes on me and I glanced at her only to meet her curious, beautiful pink orbs. My eyes soften, but then I noticed our faces were inches apart. I could feel her warm breath, tickling my skin. I felt a lump in my throat, and my cheeks felt like it was on fire. My ears were throbbing, and all I could hear was my heart, drumming ba-bump, ba-bump, ba-bump, ba-bump...I quickly shifted my gaze back toward the front, hoping she hadn't noticed my blush, but didn't answer her immediately. _'Botan, how is it that you can cause me to easily lose my cool demeanor?'_ I swallowed hard, and finally found my voice. "P-perhaps." _'No! I stuttered. Calm down Kurama. Breathe.' _ I can still feel her gaze directed at me. I cleared my throat with a fake cough, and continued. "But the main reason is that when I was Youko Kurama I had lengthy hair, therefore as a human I try to maintain that feature." _'If only you knew how you affect me, Botan. If only you knew…'_

"Oh, I see." I could no longer feel her gaze on me, which probably means that she had also shifted her gaze toward the front. "You know Kurama; I really like talking to you. I feel so relaxed with you that everything I don't speak with others just flows freely out of my mouth. Isn't it strange?" It doesn't happen with Keiko though because I know that certain subjects would upset her, and I don't want that. Does it bother you?"

"Not at all. Feel free to consult me about anything Botan. I'll be all ears." I couldn't help but think, _'maybe you do hold a certain amount of trust toward me.' _Unknowingly a satisfying smile had spread on my lips.

I heard Botan giggling beside me. "Thanks Kurama. Oh, look! We're at the temple. Oh, I think my legs are better now." Botan broke from my arm, and grabbed my hand. "Come on, let's hurry inside. I suddenly feel very hungry, and I think I smell ramen." Botan had perked her nose up and sniffed, and surely there was a fragrance of cooked ramen, lingering in the air. She held onto my hand and bounced up toward the stairs that led to the temple, while dragging me behind. "Yusuke better not have eaten all of it," Botan shouted. I couldn't help, but smile at her childishness.

* * *

Unknown to the happy couple, a pair of blue eyes were watching behind the shadows of the forest. A smirk played on the figure's lips, and his eyes gleamed with mischief. "Well, well, well, now isn't this interesting?" As the crow's cawed erupted in the night, the figure had disappeared without a trace.

* * *

Yay! Another chapter and this one have plenty of fluff. Like it? I had fun writing the part where Botan was teasing Yusuke, I thought it was funny. But now that I think about it, is that even like Yusuke? I still liked it though. Oh, I read many KB fics, and realize that it's mostly Botan having a crush on Kurama, so I did it the other way around just to be different. But I think it's kinda cute seeing Kurama act like this. But Kurama's character is the toughest for me. His speech is so polite to the point of scholarly, and sometimes very clever, and I just don't normally speak that way, so at times I feel like the Kurama in my story is not like the Kurama in YYH. Well, I guess I'll just have to get it as close as possible, but it was still so fun, especially when I was writing his reaction toward Botan; it was so kawaii! Oh and about the name: 

Daisuke means "great help." Not very original because there is a story to this name, but that's for another time.

Kuraki (I made that up, he is my character after all) I had combined two word, but I lost my sheet of paper so I don't remember which words, but I had wanted it to mean "dark-natured wrath" (I was hoping that Kuraki sounds like a cool villain name, if not, then oh well).

Keep reviewing and I'll keep updating!

MiaHime


	10. Home is Where My Friends Are

Thanks to KittySand Katie, Anime Specialist, sweetcanines, Kage Kancho, Hikaru no guardian, Kitsune of Darkness, PRIESTESSOFBLACKRAIN amaya 19, and blueorange-hill.

Disclaminer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho!

* * *

Chapter 10: Home is Where My Friends Are

* * *

**Botan's POV**

It's now mid-May, and I've returned to being the overly-happy ferry girl again. Everyone is back to their normal selves; even Hiei's sarcasm is back. It feels like déjà vu with Yusuke and Kuwabara arguing, and Keiko giving Yusuke a beating. Kurama using his wits to out talk Hiei, which made the gang laugh thus making Hiei give everyone death glares, besides Yukina that is. I'm happy, but the fact that it's been nearly a month, yet Kuraki hasn't shown up and nothing odd is happening makes me nervous. Secretly, I've been trying to track him down, but I've failed miserably. It's like he disappeared from the face of all dimensions. _'Yeah, I wish, but he's out there somewhere.' He's _after me, and I just don't want my friends to get involved. I know all too well that Kuraki will not hesitate to annihilate everyone around me. I just don't even want to imagine anyone getting hurt because of me, especially my friends, whom I've learned to care for and depend upon.

I sighed, and glanced at the clock on the wall, which read 10:00 AM. Today is May 15th, girl's day out for a shopping spree, but since it's long until school is out, I'd have to kill some time. _'Should I do some work for Koenma? Nah! Shizuru is at her part-time job, which leaves…ah, yes, Yukina.'_ I bet Yukina wouldn't mind the company. I ran to the closet and put on a simple baby blue T-shirt with a cute monkey in an astronaut suit with the words 'Give Me Some Space,' running below the monkey, and a pair of dark blue jeans with my hair in the usual pony tail.

I flew full speed toward Genkai's temple, feeling the rush of wind, and seeing the flashes of colors pass me by. _'What a nice day for a flight!'_ If flying on an oar was a sport, I'd be unbeatable. I started to slow down before Genkai's forest. The scenery is just too beautiful to pass by, I always feel at peace here. _'Just like home.'_ A sad smile crossed my lips. I floated below the canopy of trees, taking in the green, pine scent of the forest. It's refreshing, to listen to the birds, chirping underneath the morning sun, and feeling the warmth on my skin whenever a ray of light hits me. "Just like home." I had subconsciously whispered. I was glancing left and right, when I noticed a white star surrounded by a black shadow up near the tree top. _'Looks like I found some company.' _I smiled mischievously.

I flew up toward the star to confirm my suspicion, but before I could open my mouth to surprise him, he beat me to it.

"What do you want, onna?" Hiei had said in a bored tone.

"Humph, you're no fun."

"If you think trying to surprise someone into falling out a 20 foot tree is fun, then I'd rather not be."

"Looks like someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed today." I had crossed my arms and playfully stuck out my tongue at him. "I know you won't die by that, so your reasoning is illogical. Plus, couldn't you have just played along with me and not be so stiff all the time."

"Aiding your childish games will only insult my intelligence, and if you could think logically, then even I can greet you with a smile."

"Really, Hiei, you can….Hey! I'm not stupid, and I too can think logically." Hiei opened one of his eyes and glanced at me. "You remember the time when…well…how 'bout that time at…umm…oh, there was the time when we all….ahhh….I can't think of any."

"Why am I not surprise," Hiei said in a bored tone. _'I bet if it weren't for his emotionless facade, he'd be rolling his eyes right now.'_

"Humph!" I was mad, but then I started giggling at how childish we sound. "You know, we sound like kids when we're arguing like that." _'Wow! Hiei is actually fun to talk to when he's not threatening to slice someone's head off. No wonder Kurama likes to tease him so much.'_

"Leave! You're disturbing my peace."

"Oh, but I can't. I don't have much to do until Keiko gets out of school, so you have to talk to me."

"Your lack of entertainment is not my concern, but I was resting before I sensed your annoying presence. If you still want your head attached to your shoulders, then I suggest that you disappear from my sight."

"Humph, sooorrrry, mister I-hate-the-whole-world, but I just thought maybe you'd be bored pretending to sleep and all. So why don't we keep each other company?"

"Sure, I really enjoy having a babbling buffoon to keep me company, rather than resting peacefully on this tree branch."

"Than…hey! I'm not a babbling buffoon."

(Birds chirping in the background)

"Hey! Listen when I'm talking to you."

(Leaves rustling)

"Humph, fine! I'll sit here and ANNOY you with my presence." _'Ooh, the nerve of that guy! You try to be friendly and what does he do? He insults you, and ignores you. Humph...aww man...I can't stay mad though. Hiei is just Hiei.' _I smiled knowingly, and sat back, enjoying the calm air around us.

* * *

**Hiei's POV**

'_That baka ferry onna is playing with fire. If it wasn't for my confinement by that toddler, I wouldn't have hesitated to slice off her head. Whatever, as long as she stays quiet, and knows what's best for her.' _

"It's nice." _'Why am I not surprised?'_ "I haven't felt so at home since my death. Sometimes I wonder how it would turn out if I never died by my nii-san's hands." _'Then I'd probably kill you myself.'_ "I might have lived happily, probably never have met Yusuke and everyone, so maybe it was all fate. Thus, a part of me was glad that things happen the way they did, but the other part fears what's going to happen next. _'Why am I even listening? Her concerns are not my problem.' "_Do you know how it feels to have everything, and then lose it all within a blink of an eye? I know you understand, and that's probably the reason for you to distance yourself because you don't want to have to feel so abandoned again."

'_I could feel her eyes on me, but I kept my eyes shut. Abandoned? No! Emotions are weaknesses, and relationships are chains that bind you. You can only depend upon yourself.' _

"I understand the feeling of being abandoned way too well. Being hopeless and hating existence is such a familiar feeling." _'Hopelessness…'_ "But if we didn't have our past then we wouldn't have the present." _'The past…'_

_Flashback_

_All the voices echoing, "He's the forbidden child. He will destroy the village. Get out of here! Monster, be gone! Throw him off the cliff!"_

_A boy with crimson eyes is engulfed within darkness with voices ringing in his ears, "No one wants you, forbidden child. No one loves you. Everyone hates you. You are the forbidden child." _

_The boy said to himself, "I will kill everyone, and trust no one. I will only trust myself. I will walk alone. I am alone. I am abandoned…"_

_End of Flashback_

"I was unfortunate to have a brother, who betrayed my trust, but Yukina is lucky to have someone she can depend on." _'Lucky? Could anyone accept such a brother?'_ "If I were Yukina, I'd love to have a brother, whom I can trust to protect and care about me. Regardless of what he's done in the past, I'd accept who he was, and get to know who he is now." _'Trust and protect? Only fools can trust a merciless demon.' _"I wouldn't mind being protected by such a brother, and I don't believe Yukina would either." _'Protected by…'_

_Flashback _

"_Onna, you are trespassing in my territory."_

"_Hiei? Oh, sorry, I didn't realize you were here. I came here by accident, and I needed to think so I just landed and here I am."_

"_Whatever. Just don't bother me with your annoying voice."_

_The onna sat quietly for a while, and then grumbled underneath her breath, "I will never trust anyone again."_

_End of Flashback_

"You don't have to pretend you're sleeping Hiei, well, thanks for listening to this 'babbling buffoon' for so long without getting angry. I had intended to visit Yukina before school's out so I better go now. Nice talking to you." _'Baka, placing your trust on someone who's no better than your bro…'_

I suddenly understood her words. I looked up to see that she had already landed, but before she could move, I had appeared before her, causing her to step back. _'Grrr…the human world is making me soft.' _

"Onna, when you are incapable of maintaining your pathetic life…" _'Why do I even care...'_ Instead of finishing my statement, I had lifted a finger, and pointed to the center of my forehead. _'about her?'_

"Hiei…," I heard her whisper, before disappearing back to my tree. _'I will regret this.'_

_

* * *

_

**Botan's POV**

"Hey Yukina"

"Hello Botan-san, would you like some tea?"

"Sure, thanks"

I took a sip of tea, but the silence is unnerving. "Ummm…Yukina…you have always wanted to find your brother, but what if he's not like what you've expected?"

"Honestly, I have never known what to expect of my brother. All I hope for is that he'd be someone who would always look after me." _'If only you knew that your wish has already came true, Yukina.'_ I was snapped out of my thoughts when Yukina asked, "Why do you ask, Botan-san?"

"Oh, just curious 'cause you know what happened with my nii-san and me, so I just thought that if he cares about you and loves you, would you be able to accept him regardless of his past?"

"Truthfully, if he loves me, then to me, he'd always be a great onii-san. Botan-san, do you think my brother would like me?"

"Don't be silly, of course he will. You're sweet, kind, and caring. Who wouldn't love you? Why would you think your brother would dislike you?"

"Well, I have been a burden to everyone. Yusuke-san, Kazuma-san, Kurama-san, Hiei-san, and even Botan-san saved me, and are looking after me. I'm always so weak and need others to protect me. I even have to depend on everyone to search for my onii-san."

"Yukina"

"Hai, Botan-san"

"Do you like all of us?"

"Hai"

"And we all like you as well, so it's okay for us to look after you until we find your brother. Plus, you're always the person that heals me when I get hurt; it seems more like I'm a burden to you."

"No Botan-san, everyone has been nice to me, so I'm just doing what I can to help, and I really care about everyone."

"I would hate to see anyone I care about get hurt because of me, so I try my best to protect them. It's the same with you; everyone wants to protect you because they care about you, so you're not a burden at all, Yukina."

"Thank you, Botan-san."

"No problem, oh, and look we should meet up with Keiko and Shizuru to go shopping now."

"Yes, it is time for our meeting with Keiko-san and Shizuru-san."

* * *

**Scene Change  
**

**

* * *

**

Shopping with the girls was fun. We bought Yukina a nice and simple aqua summer dress that matches her hair. Keiko had bought a white blouse with a blue knee length skirt. She also got a simple sleeveless light green dress. Shizuru got some T-shirts and a few blue jeans. I bought myself a few more T-shirt and blue jeans as well. My other clothes were all bloody from last time. We had left the mall, but throughout our shopping spree, I had the feeling that we were being followed. I didn't mention to the girl because I didn't want to scare them. What if it was just a false alarm? I might be overly paranoid, but when it was nearly dust, and the three of us were walking Yukina home, I felt that invisible presence again. I was lagging behind the girls now; it could be that the silent streets are getting to me. We passed an alleyway, and Keiko was talking to a giggling Yukina, while Shizuru was smoking without a care in the world. They don't seem to feel what I'm feeling, so maybe it's just me. I felt the pair of eyes behind my neck again, and I quickly turned around. I could have sworn that I saw a moving shadow. I ran up the Keiko and said, "Hey, Keiko could you and Shizuru take Yukina home, I just got ferry duty for Koenma."

"Sure Botan, see you tomorrow then."

"Thanks, and good night, girls." I kept on waving until the girls turned the corner. I walked back toward the alleyway, and shouted, "Come out! I know you're in there."

(No movement)

"Why were you following us?"

(No answer)

"Fine, have it your way." I summoned my bat and took a step toward the alleyway, but the trashcan suddenly crashed down with a bang, causing me to jump backwards. I saw movement in the shadows, and got ready to hit and run, but I was met with a pair of raven eyes, and a coat of tan fur.

"Kawaii! Hey little fella, don't scare me like that." I went to pick it up, and it gave a small bark. I leaned in closer to look at how beautifully dark its eyes were, but it wagged its tail and licked my nose.

"Haha…that tickles. Did you run away from home? Hmm…I don't see a collar on you though. So you are abandoned huh?"

It whined.

"Hey, don't give me those puppy eyes. Oh, okay, all right, you can come home with me."

"Ruff!"

"Hmm….what to name you? Cuddles? Nah, sounds like a cat's name. Kitsune? Oops, hehe…that's what Hiei calls Kurama."

"Ruff, ruff!"

"Shhh! Pets aren't allowed in my apartment, I'll let you stay the night but then I'll bring you to Yukina so she'd have company. Don't worry, you'd love her."

"Ruff!"

"Shhh! Huh? Ah, yes, how about Shu-chan. Shu-chan, that has a nice ring to it, now you have a name, just wait until Yukina sees you...scratch that...wait until everyone sees you, they'd love you.

* * *

Outside the window to Botan's apartment, the moonlit sky was blocked by a passing cloud. A smirking shadow lurks beyond the lone pine tree, "Smile while you still can, my dear imouto."

As the cloud past, revealing the powder-white moon, the shadowed figure had disappeared from the night.

* * *

Sorry it took so long. I had major brain dead syndrome. Here is a nice long chapter with a change of mood. I thought you all might be sick of all the gloominess, so here's a nicer, cool chapter. Enjoyed reading? Now more review please!

MiaHime


	11. Happiness Can Be Painful

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho!

* * *

Chapter 11: Happiness Can Be Painful

* * *

**Botan's POV**

I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and blinked a few times. I threw the covers off me, and got out of bed. I dragged myself toward the bathroom. _'I'm so tired.'_

"Ruff!" _'Huh? A dog? No, I'm so tired that I'm hearing things. I better wash up.'_

"Ruff, ruff!" _'Wait! Urgh, I can't believe I forgot. Shu-chan!'_

I knelt on the floor on my hands and knees calling, "Shu-chan…Shu-chan…where are you?"

I heard paws speeding against the wooded floor, but before I knew it, Shu-chan had leapt at me. I stumbled backward with Shu-chan on top of me, licking my face. "Haha…there you are!" I picked him up, and stood on my feet. "You might be small, but you're sure energetic. Haha…stop! If you keep licking me like that, then I wouldn't need to wash my face."

I placed Shu-chan back on the ground. "Okay, be a good boy while I go fix up and I'll take you over to Yukina."

"Ruff!"

"I take that as a yes, now just give me twenty minutes, okay Shu-chan?"

_Twenty minutes later_

"Okay, let me put on my jacket, and we'll go. Humm…I don't think you'd like to fly, so I'll walk the old fashion way today. Shu-chan, I'll let you walk for a bit, but don't get lost. I'll carry you when we get to the city and no protest, got it?"

"Ruff, ruff, ruff!"

Shu-chan happily walked down the street while I followed behind him. He seems so carefree. It's sad to think someone would abandon such an adorable puppy. _'Don't worry; I'll always be there for you, Shu-chan.'_

The city is up ahead, so I picked Shu-chan up without protest, and cradled him in my arms. "Wow! It's really crowded in the morning. Oh, yeah, it's time for students to go to school. Shu-chan, don't run off, okay? I don't want anyone to step on you."

Off in the distance I notice a certain red-head with a group of girls. _'This scene looks familiar.'_ "Shu-chan, work with me all right?" Shu-chan tilted his head curiously.

* * *

**Kurama's POV**

"Shuuichi-kun!" I heard some one shouted, and as I turned around, I saw a head of azure wave at me.

"Good morning, Botan."

When she came up and stood beside me, her curious eyes scanned the group of girls.

"Shuuichi-kun, who is that?" The girl with short, curly, orange locks asked with slight irritation.

"Allow me to introduce you all to Botan, she is my…"

"Girlfriend!" Botan had interrupted and winked at me. _'This seems familiar.'_

"Botan, this is Minako-san," the girl that spoke earlier.

"Hayami-san," a girl that has dark-green, shoulder length hair and raven-colored eyes.

"Sesame-san," a girl with fiery red, orange hair, and her eyes are deep violet.

"And Kimiko-san," she held a sharp glare toward Botan with those navy-blue eyes, while her raven locks fell to her elbows.

"Ruff!"

"Oh, this is Shu-chan. Shuuichi gave him to me on my birthday. Isn't he adorable?" Botan had said before I could utter a word.

"Shuuichi-kun, we'll see you later in class," Minako kindly said. "Bye, Botan-san," Minako hissed.

When we were no longer able to see the girls, Botan started giggling, and a wave of laughter overtook me. "Hahaha…you're quite the popular one, Kurama. Why do I always find you in these situations?"

"So it seems. I believe you've also earned the crowd's attention."

"Yeah, being the most hated girl in the universe because I'm dating the beautifully handsome, Shuuichi Minamino, that all girls would die to have." With that said a pink shade adorned my cheeks.

Fortunately for me, Botan was too busy playing with the puppy to notice it.

"Where were you headed, Botan?"

"Oh, I was going to see Yukina and give her Shu-chan so that she would have company. I mean you all have school, I have ferry duty, and Yukina just seems so lonely that I thought it'd be perfect."

"It's very considerate of you to buy her a puppy."

"Actually…I found him in an alleyway while walking Yukina home from the mall. I was suspicious and thought that someone was following us, but it was only Shu-chan. He seemed to have been abandoned, so I brought him home." Botan smiled sadly.

"Shu-chan was it? Yukina will definitely appreciate you company." I gently stroked its head, and smiled.

Shu-chan had wagged its tail and barked in agreement.

"I'm sorry Botan; I should head to school now."

Botan glanced at her watch and gasped, "Oh no! I better run, I have to see Yukina before I go to ferry duty. Koenma will have my head if I'm late. See you later Kurama."

* * *

**Botan's POV**

"Shu-chan we're almost there, so don't get lost on me in these forest." I barely took three steps into the forest, when Shu-chan suddenly leapt out of my arms and ran into the forest. "Shu-chan! Shu-chan! Wait!"

I ran after him, but he was too fast. As I ran further, in the distance, I saw Hiei. "Hiei!" I was gasping for breath, "di…did you…se..see a puppy?"

"You are referring to this thing?" I saw Hiei hold up Shu-chan by the fur on the back of his neck. Shu-chan didn't seem afraid; he was just happily wagging his tail.

"Shu-chan! Don't run off like that!" I looked up at Hiei. "Thank you, Hiei."

"How pathetic, you even named that creature."

"Yes, I did, and he's not 'that creature!' He's a puppy and his name is Shu-chan!"

"I could care less about that thing."

"Hiei, you are such a…"

"Ruff!" Shu-chan interrupted before I could finish. He was looking at Hiei with the most innocent eyes.

"Awww…I think he likes you, Hiei."

"He is as foolish as you are. Most would tremble in fear at my presence."

"Aww…come on, Hiei. You're not as bad as you put yourself to be."

"Hn," Hiei said, and disappeared in a flash.

"Hey! I wasn't finished." I looked at my watch, and my eyes almost bulged out. "Oh no! Koenma is going to kill me!"

I carried Shu-chan in my arms and ran to the temple.

'_Whatever! I'm already late, and if Koenma is going to chew my head off, I might at well finish what I had intended to do.'_

"Yukina! Yukina! Are you home?"

"Good Morning, Botan-san. Would you like some tea?"

"Oh, don't bother, Yukina. By the way, where's Genkai?"

"She's out in the forest, I believe. Would you like to see Genkai-san?

"No, Actually, I'm here to give you something, Yukina."

"What is it that you would like to give me, Botan-san?"

"Here!" I held up Shu-chan with both hands to show Yukina. "I found him last night, and thought he could keep you company while everyone is gone." I smiled brightly toward Yukina.

"He's very cute. Thank you, Botan-san." Yukina gave a genuine smile. "Does he have a name?"

"Yes, I named him Shu-chan, but if you'd like you could give him another name."

"No, it's fine, Shu-chan suits him well."

"Shu-chan, you watch over Yukina, and protect her, all right." I lightly tapped his nose, and smiled at Yukina.

Yukina knelt down and placed Shu-chan on the ground. She stood up again, and faced me. "Thank you, Botan-san" Before I could say anything, Yukina walked up and gently hugged me. "I will take care of him."

"I'm glad you like him. Ahh! Yukina, I'm sorry I have to go on ferry duty now. Tell Genkai I said hi, and I promise I'll visit you tonight, okay?"

"Okay, Botan-san. Thank you, and have a safe trip."

"Yukina, if you really want to thank me then just call me Botan." I winked at her. "Bye!"

"Bye, Botan" I heard Yukina say before I flew off, and a smile crossed my lips. _'Today is such a nice day."_

_

* * *

_

**Hiei's POV**

That baka acts as if she understands me. '_Not as bad as I put myself to be.' _She is underestimating me. If it wasn't for my sentence, those petty humans, her so called friends, would all be dead by now. Why did I even offer my assistance to a fool like her? This Ningenkai is affecting me. I must speak with the kitsune. _'Arrgg…the kitsune has ningen schooling. I don't even understand why the kitsune bothers learning from those insolent humans, when he could easily destroy them all. Whatever, I'll just wait until he returns.'_

_

* * *

_

**Botan's POV**

After being yelled at by a very angry baby lord about being late, being irresponsible, and leaving him with such a gigantic stack of paper, I finished my ferry duty. _'Yelling at me is one thing, but does he have to spit everywhere. If I didn't know he was a lord, I'd thought he was some spoiled brat.'_ I sighed; for once there weren't many deaths today. I got off earlier than expected, so now I'm going to visit Yukina.

I reached the top step of the temple only to see Shu-chan lying there. "Shu-chan, don't be so lazy."

(No Answer)

'_I thought dogs are very sensitive to sound. Maybe he's just tired. I'm beat myself.'_

"Shu-chan, you shouldn't sleep out here, you'll catch a cold." I walked up to scoop him up, but as I put my hands underneath him, I felt something warm and sticky between my fingers. I pulled my hand out only to find a dark crimson liquid that I am way too familiar with. _'Blood!'_ I picked Shu-chan up and turned him over. I saw a wound across his stomach and I instinctively ran inside the temple.

"Yukina! Yukina, answer me!"

Yukina walked out from her room. "Botan?"

I looked wide-eyes at her, feeling as if me heart was about to leap from my chest. "Yukina, are you all right?" I nearly shouted.

"I'm fine. What's the matter Botan-san? Why do you look so worried?" Yukina asked full of concern. She placed her hand on my shoulder, and gasped. "Botan-san, are you injured? Your clothes are soaked with blood."

"No, it's not me. It's Shu-chan. Shu-chan is hurt, and I was afraid that something happened to you." I was breathing rapidly. "I'm glad you're okay." I would have hugged her if I didn't carry an injured Shu-chan. _'Ah! Shu-chan!' _ "Yukina, he lost a lot of blood. Can you heal him?"

"Hai" I hurried to the couch and set him down. As Yukina began healing Shu-chan, I began to fear that he might not open his eyes again. _'Please be okay, Shu-chan. Please…'_

"Botan…" Yukina had put a hand on my shoulders, and snapped me from my thoughts..

"I-Is he okay?"

"Shu-chan is fine now. He just needs plenty of rest from the amount of blood loss."

I sighed in relief. "He's okay." I quietly sat by him and gently stroke his fur.

"Botan, would you like some tea?"

I slowly shook my head, my eyes never leaving Shu-chan. I heard Yukina leave, and gently laid Shu-chan on my laps. "I'm glad you're okay, Shu-chan," I whispered. I continued petting Shu-chan as if it would sooth his injury, then I noticed a red string tied around his leg. I untied it, and found a folded piece of paper stained with blood attached to the string. Out of curiosity I opened the piece of paper. _'It can't be!' _I was consumed by rage. I slammed the paper down on the table, and stood up, ready to storm out the door when Yukina's voice stopped me. "Botan, is something the matter?"

"It's my fault Shu-chan got hurt." I had clinched my fist, and was unable to face Yukina. "I failed to protect those that I care about, in the past, and even now."

"Botan, I don't understand. What…"

"Yukina, please take care of Shu-chan for me." I never waited for Yukina's reply. I summoned my oar, and burst through the door.

* * *

**Yukina's POV**

Botan left abruptly. I am worried about her. What she said confused me. Why must she blame herself for Shu-chan's injury? I didn't understand, but when she said it, I felt like I would never see her again. _'Botan…'_ I looked down sadly, and set the tea tray down on the table, but then I noticed a bloodstained piece of paper on the table. I opened it, but I didn't understand what it meant. However, this might had been what had upset her. The blood on this paper, and the message, what could it mean? I must notify Genkai-san about this. I ran into the forest thinking, _'Botan please…'_

"Genkai-san…"

"Can't even let these old bones stretch in peace." Genkai-san looked up at me and frowned. "What is troubling you, child?"

"It's Botan. She said some things I don't understand, and left. I'm worried about her. I'm scared, Genkai-san. Will Botan be okay?" _'Please…'_

"I need to hear the whole story to help you. Why don't we head back to the temple, and then you can explain everything."

I explained the entire situation to Genkai-san. I even explained how Shu-chan is involved. I then handed her the note I found and she immediately called Yusuke-san and the others for a meeting. _'Please come back.'_

_

* * *

_

**Kurama's POV**

I came home and walked up to my room, ready to finish my homework, when I sensed Hiei's presence outside my window. I opened the window, and looked toward the tree. "I see you've chosen a different tree to nest in, Hiei."

"I'm not here to play games, kitsune. I have some questions."

"If it is within my knowledge, then I'll try my best to provide you with answers."

"I've been disturbed lately."

"What is the cause of this disturbance?"

"My thoughts"

"What might you be referring to?"

"It's about the ba…"

Before Hiei could finish, the phone rang. "Hiei, could you wait one moment?" I hurried downstairs to pick of the phone. I answered to Genkai's alert call, hung up, and went back up. "Hiei, I'm afraid we're going to have to finish this conversation later. There's trouble at Genkai's temple. Botan is missing."

(And cut! Isn't this a great ending spot? Nah! I felt like writing some more, plus if I ended this chapter here I might get scolded to death. Sorry for interrupting, but keep reading because there's more!)

With that said, we both ran full speed, and arrived at the temple within ten minutes. Yusuke and Kuwabara were already present. Even the girls were all there.

"All right grandma, where's Botan?"

"Moron, that's what everyone is here for. Now if you would shut up, I'll explain. According to Yukina, Botan ran in here yelling for Yukina to heal this puppy." Genkai had pointed to the puppy currently occupying the couch, and continued explaining the situation about the puppy and a mysterious piece of paper.

"So she wasn't kidnapped?" Yusuke asked.

"No"

"Wait, I'm confused. If she's not kidnapped, then how could she be missing?" Kuwabara asked.

I understood Genkai's concern. This may appear as a coincidence, but I believe it was planned. The thought of Botan, mentioning earlier that she was being followed yesterday, bothered me. "Genkai, may I take a look at the piece of paper you are referring to." Genkai handed me the piece of paper. I opened it and everyone had leaned in intently to see. It read: Like my gift? And below it was a flower drawn inside a circle.

"What's the big deal about a crappy drawing of a flower?"

"It's a peony to be exact," I answered Yusuke.

"You mean Botan?" Keiko stated more than asked.

"Hai, Botan does indeed mean peony."

"I still don't get it," Yusuke said.

"Um…excuse me Kurama-san. Well, be…before Botan left she blamed herself for Shu-can's wound, and said that she failed to protect those she cared about, in the past, and even now. Then she said to take care of Shu-chan, but…but to me it sounded like a farewell."

* * *

**Botan's POV**

_Flashback_

_A seven year old, azure head ran around a sakura tree, and hid. _

_Botan, where are you? A fifteen year old, navy blue-haired boy called out._

_She giggled and peaked out from her hiding place, but she didn't see anyone. She got scared and ran out. "Nii-san! Nii-san!" She searched frantically, but couldn't find anyone._

"_Nii-san, come out! Botan doesn't want to play anymore." No matter how many times she called, no one answered her. "Nii-san, where are you?" She started crying. "Do-don't leave Bo-tan alone."_

_The boy walked up behind her, feeling guilty. "Botan, don't cry. Nii-san is sorry, don't cry anymore." No matter how the boy begged, the little girl kept crying. The boy looked thoughtful for a while, and then smiled. "If Botan stops crying, nii-san will give her something."_

_The little girl instantly cheered up. "What? What is nii-san going to give Botan?"_

"_Follow nii-san" Botan rapidly shook her head and smiled._

_The pair walked up to a sakura tree, and the boy started to carve something on the tree. _

"_Wow! It's a pretty flower inside a circle."_

"_Close, it's a peony inside a ring. The peony is Botan, and the ring is nii-san. It means that nii-san will always be around Botan, and will never abandon her. Do you like it, Botan?"_

"_Uh-huh! Does it mean nii-san promises to protect Botan forever?"_

"_Hai, nii-san promise" _

_End of Flashback_

I had flown to nearly the outskirts of Genkai's forest. I know he has to be somewhere around here. I just know it.

"In a hurry are we?" I heard a deep, teasing voice echo through the forest.

"Come out here, right now!"

"Temper, temper, my dear imouto."

"Shut up! The day you plunged that knife through me heart, my nii-san had died along with my love for him."

"You're a liar, Botan. Your recognition of our symbol is proof that I still reside in you heart, dear imouto. You simply can not erase me from your memory."

I glared hard at him, but he didn't seem to faze.

"What, a cat caught your tongue? Or is it rather, an injured dog stole your mind." He smirked.

"So it really was you? You almost killed him! Why do you always hurt the people around me?"

"You are mistaken, dear imouto. I didn't hurt anyone. I accidentally scratched a dog that you just so happened to have found last night." A glint of amusement gleamed in his eyes.

"You!" I grind my teeth and clinched my fists. "You were spying on me," I hissed.

"Spying?" He shook his head. "I prefer to use the term, protecting."

"Arrrggg…what I need protection from is you! Why don't you just leave me the hell alone?"

"Such foul language, but I'm afraid I can't, dear imouto. You see, I thrive upon your pain, so it is my duty…no…it is my pleasure to torment you." Kuraki had suddenly disappeared, and then I felt weight on my shoulders. I instantly paled. He had rested his arms on my shoulders, and whispered in my ears, sending chills down my neck. I was petrified. "I believe I have found the core for your pain." As those words reached my ears, I snapped out of my fear and focused in front of me. I gasped; they were all pictures of the gang. _'No! My friends…'_ There were some from the dark tournament, there were some from our holiday gatherings, and others were from our girl's day out. "Happiness can be painful, my dear imouto." My blood instantly ran cold.

"Awww….is my dear imouto scared?" _'I will…' _"You see, that puppy was just an experiment to see how you would react. You didn't fail me because if you cared for that puppy enough to come and meet me, then I wonder what you'd do if I coincidentally met with an adorable aqua-haired girl at the temple, and accidentally drove a blade through her chest?" _'...protect them.'_

(Wham!) My fist had instinctively flown toward his face, and he released his hold on me.

"You caught me by surprise there, my imouto." He rebalanced himself and smirked.

"Next time I will make sure to beat that smirk off your face. If you ever get near anyone of my friends, I will kill you."

"Tsk, tsk, tsk, I'm afraid you won't be able to keep up with your little threat."

"If I'm dying, I'll take you with me." I charged toward him with my fist out, I swung my fist at him, but before it hit his face, he caught my wrist. I tried to break loose, but he was too strong. I glared hard at him, and glowered as threateningly as possible.

He smirked at my attempt, but then his expression turned sour. "Don't look at me with those eyes. They remind me of my worthless okaa-san."

"Shut up! You killed okaa-san, so don't you dare call her worthless!"

Kuraki shoved me on the ground and wrapped his hands around my neck. "I said don't look at me with those eyes!" His grip tightened, and stole the air from my lungs. I couldn't breath, and my head was throbbing painfully. My visions became blurry, but I was more sad than scared. _'I wish I could have seen everyone again.'_

_Flashback_

_Shizuru, Keiko, Yukina, and I walked around and shopped at the mall while conversations and laughter spread._

_Yusuke and Kuwabara argued over the last cookie._

_Kurama and I sat peacefully to talk underneath the sakura tree._

_Yukina gave me a hug for giving her Shu-chan._

_Hiei stopped me, and for the first time didn't threaten to kill me. _

_I really liked everyone: Yusuke, Keiko, Kurama, Shizuru, Kuwabara, Genkai, Koenma, Yukina, and even Hi…Hiei…_

_

* * *

_

Sorry about my inconsistent updates. The truth is I have thought of the entire story, but haven't written it all out, so I'm just going along with mood. Sorry for taking the smile away from Botan once again, but this chapter is inevitable, and you'll find out why later. I don't really like how I wrote this chapter though because I think I left gaps in lots of places, but I can't seem to find them; It just felt like I've left gaps though. I've been writing and changing it for three days now, but I'm still not satisfied, and I'd be helpful if anyone could tell me what's wrong. Please review and I'd be forever grateful!

MiaHime


	12. Sorry!

Sorry guys. I hate to do this to you all, and I hate it when you get email saying this story updated, but then you get an author's note. However, school just started, I'm packed with studies, I have tests in like two weeks, and I don't have all my books, so it's the library for me. I have already missed my own deadline for updating the next chapter, but I just wanted to give everyone a heads up that it might take even longer before the next update comes out. When I get use to my schedule, and am able to manage my time, then I'll update, but until then please just bare with me. I appreciate your appreciation of my story that's why I'm writing this note, and please just give me time to settle things, and I'll update again. Again, I'm very sorry, but I won't be able to update anytime soon. Sorry, and thanks for not complaining.

MiaHime


	13. Strength to Protect

**Hiei's telepathic communication**

Kurama's telepathic communication

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho!

* * *

Chapter 11: Strength to Protect

* * *

**Kurama POV**

At Genkai's temple, the entire gang is discussing Botan's absence. Everyone sat around the tea table while Shu-chan is resting on the couch, and Hiei claimed his usual spot in the corner; I initiated the discussion.

"As of recent, all we know is that this piece of paper with a peony on it is related to Botan's absence."

"Really?" asked Kuwabara.

"According to Yukina, Botan had blamed herself for Shu-chan's injury and…"

"Wait!" Yusuke interrupted, "who's Shu-chan?"

"Shu-chan is the injured puppy on the couch behind you. As I was saying earlier, Botan had blamed herself for this incident, and her inability to protect those she cared about. Also, there is a blood-stained fingerprint on this paper and the only messages written here are the words 'like my gift' and a drawing. Judging from your previous reactions, I assume that this message held no meaning to anyone from our group; however Botan left after seeing this message, which meant that she recognized or understood the message."

"Kurama, you're saying that if Botan understood this message and no one else," replied Keiko. "then whoever sent the message was targeting her?"

"That is my suspicion."

"Wait, you're saying this was a trap?" Yusuke asked.

"Yes, also Keiko, when you visited the mall with Botan yesterday, did anything unusual happen?"

"We had a great time, but Botan did seem a bit distant. I just figured that she was still depressed and upset, so I didn't ask her. Why'd you ask, Kurama?"

"When I met Botan on my way to school today, she mentioned her suspicion that she was being followed yesterday; however, when she discovered Shu-chan, she immediately dismissed her previous suspicion."

"Yesterday, she was always behind us, but why hadn't she said anything to us about being followed?" Keiko asked with a sad tone.

"I'm certain Botan did not want to frighten you, especially when it was only a feeling she had. However, her suspicion of being followed, Shu-chan's injury, a mysterious message, and Botan's disappearance all proves that someone is or had been targeting Botan."

Yukina held both her hands to her heart and asked softly, "Kurama-san, will Botan be fine?" She eyes were glistening, nearly tear-filled.

"Don't worry my sweet, I'll find Botan," Kuwabara assured. "I'm a man of his words."

I barely heard Hiei's low grumble in the corner.

"You mean that bastard." Yusuke asked irritably grinding his teeth.

I knew who Yusuke was referring to and who I'm suspicious of, "You are correct, Kuraki has not given up yet."

"How can we find that asshole then?" Yusuke's expression was darkly coated with anger, hatred and a thirst for blood.

"We could use Hi **Kitsune!**" I was interrupted before I could finish my sentence.

What is it, Hiei? 

**That baka onna. **That was the last thing I heard before Hiei disappeared from Genkai's temple. _'It seems Hiei was one step ahead of me.'_

"Yusuke, Kuwabara, let's go! We've found her." I immediately stood up and made a hasty exit.

"Hey! Where'd the shrimp go?" Kuwabara shouted

"Why are you still sitting there moron, let's go." Yusuke snapped.

"Where are we going, I thought we were supposed to find Botan?"

"Idiot, you're deaf and stupid. They've already found her with Hiei's jagan."

"Oh…hey, I'm not stupid! Wait up Urameshi!"

'_Hiei sounded strangely irritated, and he offered assistance before being asked. Something is amiss.'_ Hiei, what's bothering you?

**The onna's energy is fading.**

You've located Botan.

**Five miles east within Genkai's forest.**

We should arrive there in five minutes.

**That baka might not have five minutes.**

Hiei flashed and disappeared. Hiei's tone was laced with a hint of anger, _'Strange, why does Hiei always seems unusually rash when Botan's in danger? Perhaps, I'm overanalyzing, never mind that; Botan's life is in danger. Hold on Botan.'_

* * *

**Botan's POV**

_It feels like I'm drowning in an ocean of sand. I can't breath, my mouth's dry, and my head is throbbing painfully like it's about to explode. Am I dreaming again or am I about to die. It's too dark to see anything, and I can't move, it feels like I'm being bound to the ground by invisible clamps. I heard echoes…voices…I think. They were all around, but I couldn't see. Are they part of my imagination? I heard a blade unsheathe, then the throbbing stopped, and the pressure on my chest lessened. I felt something…or someone shaking my shoulders. Oo…an…o…an…it echoed. Who is it? Oo…tan…o…tan…ake…p…it said. Do I know you? Bo…tan…wake…up. I've heard this voice somewhere before. Botan, wake up. I know this voice. My eyelids slowly lifted open. I blinked once, visions still hazy, twice, trying to focus, a third time._

"Ku…(cough, cough)…ra…ma?" (cough, cough, cough)

"Botan, are you okay?" '_Such a gentle, caring voice.'_

"I'm (cough) fine Kurama." I replied. "What happened?"

"You don't remember?" _'I feel safe with him around.'_

"I remember visiting Yukina after work, saw Shu-chan, a piece of pap…Kuraki!" I jumped. My eyes darted around, finally noticing Kuraki and Hiei locked in a starring contest.

"Aww…my dear imouto, I thought you missed our otou-san and okaa-san. I just wanted you to have a happy reunion. Is it so wrong that your nii-san wanted to help you?"

I glared daggers at Kuraki. "Shut up! You are not my nii-san!" I tried to sound angry, but my throat was still dry, so my words came out frail and weak.

"As touching as this is, I'm not interested in your personal affairs." Hiei said. Kuraki has gotten on Hiei's nerves, and no one messes with Hiei and gets away with it._  
_

"Aww…does our little dark demon want some attention too?" Kuraki cooed, then his eyes turned emotionless and a smirk spread on his face. "Don't worry, I haven't forgotten about you. You robbed me of my prey!" Kuraki shouted and disappeared.

He reappeared on Hiei's left, shooting out his fist, which nearly collided with Hiei's stomach if he didn't leap back the second before it came in contact. Hiei raced forward with his katana on the side, he got near Kuraki and made a horizontal slash, but Kuraki dodged the blade and disappeared. Kuraki reappeared behind Hiei with another punch, which Hiei nearly escaped with a few clipped strands of hair. Then Kuraki surprised him with a face close confrontation, Hiei hadn't fully recovered from the earlier leap, and was caught off guard. Kuraki's punch to his chest sent him hurdling toward a tree a good distance away. This flash, flash, and crash all happened within a millisecond; I didn't even know how I was able to follow their movements. '_If Kuraki is faster than Hiei, and Hiei is the fastest demon I know. This is bad, very bad.'_

"Hiei!" I heard Yusuke's surprised shout and turn to see Yusuke and Kuwabara running toward us. I saw Yusuke's eyes targeting Kuraki, who remained still with his signature smirk dancing on his lips. Yusuke charged up his spirit gun and fired. Kuraki remained still and confident, when the spirit gun was about one foot away from making contact with his body, Kuraki bent his elbow back and launched a punch at the spirit gun square in the center and sent it back toward Yusuke. Yusuke jumped out of the way, barely dodging it but… "Kuwabara!" Yusuke's scream was deaf to his ears as Kuwabara absorbed the shot to his stomach and flew backwards, crashing through three trees before stopping at a fourth. I felt my heart race as I witnessed Kuwabara being blown away.

"You bastard!" Yusuke was beyond furious. He ran toward Kuraki, punching and kicking continuously, but none hit its target.

Kuraki was easily dodging every punch and kick sent his way, "Aww…you can't blame me, it was your spirit gun that hit him." Kuraki's smirk widen, "You did nothing wrong, you only tried to save yourself, so who cares if your friend dies."

"Ahhh! Shut the hell up!" Yusuke continued to punch and kick furiously, and Kuraki continued to dodge.

"Can't you do any better than this, detective? I'm getting bored; here, let me ease your misery." Kuraki dodged Yusuke's fist to his face, bent down and leap upwards with an uppercut that sent Yusuke flying upward. He then disappeared and reappeared in front of Yusuke, sending ten consecutive, speedy punches to his stomach, causing Yusuke to crash diagonally downward, sliding a few feet after he fell. With Yusuke down, I felt numerous needles, pricking at my heart.

Kuraki was still in midair, and then a dark shadow appeared beside him. It seems that as I was concentrating on Yusuke's fallen form, Hiei had gotten up and continued to pursue the fight. I glanced beside me only to find that Kurama was not there anymore, but he's not in the fight with Kuraki either. Hiei and Kuraki fazed in and out with Hiei trying to slice Kuraki up, but Kuraki was mostly dodging the attacks; however, he did caught Hiei's blade once. _'Wait! Caught? Why didn't I see any blood?'_ Hiei's last attack caused Kuraki to leap backwards, suddenly Kurama's rose whip appeared out of nowhere, aiming toward Kuraki's right, he barely dodged the surprise attack, escaping with a paper-cut thin graze on his right cheek, drawing a drop of blood that started to trickle down his cheek. Kuraki lifted his hand up and lightly felt the wound with his fingers, removed his hand and stared at the tiny amount of blood on his fingers. Just then Kurama appeared beside Hiei, and observed Kuraki's reaction. When I focused on Kuraki my eyes widened, and I felt the tingling, prickling feeling of fear. His smirk turned into a frown, but that wasn't what scared me; it was his eyes. He had that same amused, yet bloodlust flame dancing within his eyes as he did in the past when he took my life. The moment I recognized that look, Kuraki had already leapt at Hiei and Kurama, causing them to split and start their own attacks._ 'Kurama…'_ To my surprise, Kuraki went after Hiei with a side sweep, tripping him then, punching him several times, creating a crater on the ground with Hiei as the center piece. Both Hiei and Kurama seemed surprised as well, which meant that Kurama was aiming to be the target, but his plan backfired. Looking at Hiei's limp form and blood flowing from the side of his lips, I felt my heart clinch and ache. Kuraki didn't waste anytime to charge after his next target, Kurama. I watched intently, while mentally recalling the forms of my fallen friends. _'I promised myself that I'd protect them, but I'm so powerless. Why am I always the one to be rescued? Why can't I help the ones I love? Why?'_ I only took my mind off the fight for two seconds and Kurama had already been beaten with scars and bruises, lying limply on the ground. I saw Kuraki appear beside Kurama's fallen form and lifted him up by his flaming red hair. Kurama's brows furrowed, and Kuraki smirked with an amusement look in his eyes, "I always save the best for last," Kuraki whispered. Seeing Kurama's position, it felt as if my heart had been stabbed and watched as it bled continuously until it was withered dry.

My feet started to move as images of my friends' seemingly lifeless bodies seeped into my mind: Kuwabara slumped against a tree, Yusuke's crumpled form on the ground, Hiei's beaten figure in a crater, and Kurama's life at Kuraki's mercy. As I opened my eyes, I was face to face with Kuraki, close enough to where he could attack me and I wouldn't be able to escape, but far enough that he couldn't just reach out and grab me without dropping Kurama. "Let him go!" _'Why can't I protect them? _

"I don't think so; he's mine to play with now. You might have escaped me dear imouto, but the exchange for your temporary life, is everyone you care about." Kuraki said, nearly chiming with entertainment.

"Wasn't I your target, now let him go!" I spat, anger boiling within my veins. _'Why must so many get hurt for my sake?'_

"You are right, but wrong. As I clarified earlier, I live upon my pleasures of your sorrow, and right now I am fulfilling my life's goal. You are suffering, dear imouto."

"Why…" I breathed out, seemingly locked within my own mind. _'I never wanted this. I wanted to be helpful.'_

"Such a foolish question for I had just stated my reason."

I heard Kurama gasp for breath. _'I wanted to be strong.'_

"Aww…my little imouto is scared speechless."

Kurama's breathing was shallow, but still there. _'Strong enough to confront my fears.'_

"As much as I love to stick around, I have lost interest in this game."

I heard Kurama cough once. _'Strong enough…'_

"This is the end my dear imouto."

I looked up and he coughed a second time. _'Strong enough to protect…'_

"Game over."

A third cough that spurted out blood. _'Strong enough to protect him.'_

* * *

**Kurama's POV**

My eyelids felt heavy, my body is painfully weak, but I heard Botan's voice talking, speaking with someone…Kuraki. I was bounded by my hair. I attempted to speak only to have a coughing fit and sputter blood. I felt a burst of spirit energy, strong but unlike that of Kuraki's. I slowly lifted my eyes open and caught a glance of Botan's azure locks, but as soon as I laid my eyes on it, it disappeared. The pressure on my hair lessened and gravity took its effect as my body dropped limply to the ground. I heard footsteps moving closer to me, but my body refused to move. Someone's gentle hands turned me over and I was met with glowing pink orbs and azure locks. She blinked once and the glow was gone. Then the world around me turned to black.

_ Later  
_

I woke up to the sight of a violet red sky. _'It is already dusk.'_ I sat up, but oddly I did not feel any pains or aches. _'Odd, I'm certain this wasn't all a dream.'_ I stood up and noticed the collapsed trees and disturbed land, the aftermath of a great battle. I glanced around and saw Hiei, Yusuke and Kuwabara, but Botan was missing. I walked over to Hiei and shook him awake.

"Hands off kitsune."

"I see you are healthy with no apparent bruises. We should check on Yusuke and Kuwabara."

"Hn," Hiei walked over and knocked Yusuke and Kuwabara over their heads.

"Hey!" Both Yusuke and Kuwabara shouted.

"The idiot and the detective are fine."

"Hey, weren't we fighting with that Kuraki guy?" Kuwabara asked.

"That bastard, asshole, son of a b, wait! Why don't I feel like shit? And why doesn't anyone look like crap?" Yusuke asked.

"I'm not certain either."

"Then where's Botan?" Yusuke asked worriedly.

"There!" I heard Kuwabara shout and I traced Kuwabara's extended finger and found that it was directed behind me. I turned around and saw Botan's figure leaning against a tree not too far from where I had awoken from, yet I failed to notice her. _'How could I have possible missed her?'_ I hurried toward Botan, shook her shoulders, but she didn't respond. Judging from the rise and fall of her chest, she is still breathing. I reached out to touch her hand, but it felt like ice. I immediately cradled her in my arms and dashed off toward Genkai's temple. _'Hold on Botan, hold on…'_

* * *

**Scene change**

* * *

When the group and I returned to the temple, there were questions of concern, but Botan's health is main priority. Genkai noticed my concern and told Keiko that we all needed our rest and questions will be answered tomorrow. I placed Botan on the futon in the guest room and left her in Yukina's care. Moments later Yukina came out.

"How is Botan doing?"

"Don't worry Kurama-san, Botan was not wounded. She lost a great amount of spirit energy and just needs some rest. Are you injured, Kurama-san?"

"No, I am fine."

"Thank you for bringing Botan back." I looked up at Yukina to see her sincere smile.

"Kitsune, what happened?" Hiei had made his presence known once Yukina exited the room.

"I'm not certain. I did sense a burst of energy and saw Botan's eyes adorn a pink glow before I fell unconscious. However, my lessen senses at that moment could have affected my judgment."

"Did you sense another presence there?"

"No, just a different spirit energy, I suppose you didn't sense anything abnormal either."

"Hn, the onna might have answers."

"Perhaps, but she needs her rest."

"She could be your weakness."

"Are you not reminding yourself that? You were impatient, care to explain Hiei." Hiei responded with his usual 'hn' and disappeared.

"Ningenkai had softened us," I whispered into the night, "but I do not believe it is a weakness."

* * *

As a cloud pass by and engulfed the crescent moon a shadow stood atop a tree within Genkai's temple. His eyes narrowed as he ran his fingers across the tiny scar on his face and touched the bloody, claw-shaped wound that embellished his back. "I have a score to settle with you and your friends, my dear imouto." As the cloud move across and revealed the luminous crescent moon again, the shadow disappeared.

* * *

Sorry for the delayed update, but finals were crazy. Sorry for repeatedly injuring Botan, there was always a reason. I know there are some mysteries, but it will come to light soon. I hope I didn't mess up Kurama's character. And sorry about the battle scene: one, my cousin said that it would be better to not make it too detailed and let the readers imagine the fight itself, two, I'm trying to hint that Kuraki is powerful, three, I'm just not very good with fights, especiall when I don't really know how to fight with bare hands or with a weapon. Oh, and if you do read my author's note, please help me out. I wanted to create a character for another story, so could you give me your opinion, would you like aqua (like Yukina's hair) or violet as an eye color? I'm sorry I had to end this chapter here, but if I didn't this one chapter would be pretty long, don't worry as long as I update right. Thanks for your patience. 

MiaHime


	14. Hiding

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho!

* * *

Chapter 13: Hiding

* * *

**Botan's POV**

_Everywhere I looked, I saw white, hazy smoke…maybe a fog. I walked forward, shouting, "Is anyone there? Guys?" I wandered aimlessly…looking…searching. I knew I was trembling, cold and scared. I slowly walked forward, eyes darting from side to side. I saw something blue up ahead. I ran up to the figure on the ground, "Kuwabara, I'm glad you're here." I moved my hand to touch him, but his body turned into ashes and was carried away by the wind. I began to panic, "What's going on?" I stood up and started jogging and shouting, "Guys, where are you?" There, up ahead I saw Yusuke with his silly grin. I reached out, "Yusuke, you better not…" my hands went through his body, and he disappeared. My heart started racing, sweat streaming down my face. I started running, and then I saw Hiei leaning against a tree with his back toward me, looking like he's asleep. "Hiei?" I touched his back and felt something warm and sticky. I looked at my hand only to see blood, and when I looked up again, Hiei was gone, leaving a pool of crimson behind. I could hear my heart thundering inside my chest, my breaths rapid and irregular. I started sprinting, trying to escape this nightmare…I hope, prayed that this isn't real. I saw a redhead walking away from me, so I shouted, "Kurama!" He stopped and turned around, but there was a shadow behind him. Something, no someone was behind him. I tried to get his attention, "Kurama!" The shadow moved closer, and closer. "Kurama! Behind you!" I yelled, but it was deaf to his ears when something pierced through his heart. "No!" I forced my legs to run faster. "Please no!" The shadow removed the object from Kurama's chest, and his body collapsed…revealing Kuraki. _

"Nooooo!" I sat up screaming, but when my eyes roamed around, I didn't see anybody. I wasn't in a forest, rather I'm in a room with walls all around, but I still couldn't erase those images. They were so real. The next thing I knew, Hiei was beside me, on impulse I grabbed his arm, and asked, "Is everyone ok?" I held my breath, and knew tears were brimming around my eyes. Hiei never spoke, only gave a slight nod. _'Thank god.' _I breathed out, unable to hold my tears any longer and I cried onto Hiei's arm, ignoring the fact that Hiei never threatened or threw me across the room for touching him.

* * *

**Kurama's POV**

As soon as I heard Botan's scream, I immediately headed toward her room. The door was already opened, and when I took a look inside, I saw Botan crying onto Hiei's arm, yet he doesn't seem to mind. _'This is indeed strange.'_ As I heard the whole household's footsteps approaching, Hiei removed himself from Botan's grasped and retreated to the dark corner. As the entire group appeared, Yukina was the first to move across the room toward Botan. She gathered Botan's hands in her own and asked, "Botan, is everything okay?"

Botan looked up with relief shining in her eyes and nodded, "Everyone…thank goodness everyone is okay." Botan leaned her forehead against Yukina's shoulder and sniffled. Keiko made her way across the room, sat beside Botan and started rubbing her back, "Shh…everything is fine now, Botan."

Botan lifted her head, wiped her tears away, and smiled at the group, "I'm fine now."

Yusuke strode forward firmly, and faced her, "Botan, don't you ever do that again! You knew it was a trap, but you went anyways."

Botan tilted her face downward, shadowing her eyes with her bangs, "I'm sorry I made everyone worry."

Yusuke grabbed both sides of Botan's shoulders, "We're a team Botan, and you know we've got your back."

Botan raised her head and met Yusuke's determined eyes, "I'm sorry, I just…"

"Botan, promise me you will never put yourself in danger again."

"Yusuke I…"

"Damnit, just promise me Botan."

"Yusuke, I…I promise." Satisfied with the answer, Yusuke relaxed his grasp and took a few steps back.

I moved forward and knelt in front of Botan to match her eyelevel, "Botan, could you recall what happened?"

"I visited Yukina, saw Shu-chan injured, got a message, went to see Kuraki, and he tried to kill me, but you guys came in time to save me."

"Are you sure nothing else happened?"

"Nope, I fainted after you guys saved me. What's wrong Kurama?"

I spoke with my usual calm and collected voice, "We did manage to stop Kuraki from killing you, but we were all defeated and knocked unconscious. When we came to, Kuraki was nowhere in sight and our bodies showed no sign of injury." I met her gaze with stern eyes, "Are you positive that you didn't see anything or anyone aside from us?"

Botan hesitated for a second and then nodded.

I stood up and stepped back, "I believe Botan's in need of rest. We should take our leave." I exited the room and everyone followed.

**Kitsune, she's lying.**

Perhaps

**She still has doubts.**

She will consult us when the time comes.

**Hn **Hiei disconnected his telepathic link.

'_Botan…'_

* * *

**Botan's POV**

When everyone had left the room, I stood up and gazed out the window. I hate myself for lying. I knew I couldn't trust myself to tell Kurama another lie when he looked at me with those unyielding eyes, so I nodded instead. I hate lying to everyone…I hate lying to him, but I don't want to be a burden. I know the guys will want to train, and I don't want to make this a big deal until I'm sure.

I glanced at the clock and noticed that it was almost time for school. I left my room and headed for the living room, "Whoa, why is everyone still here? Don't you have school?"

"Forget school, we're keeping an eye on you. We're not going anywhere." Yusuke replied.

"Yeah, Botan, a man isn't a man if he can't even protect his friends." Kuwabara exclaimed.

"Keiko, you'll convince Yusuke to go to school ne?"

"Botan, they just want you to be safe."

"I can't believe you guys. Kurama not you too, you're a perfect student and would never skip school, right?"

"I believe I can make an exception."

I glanced over at Shizuru pleadingly. She looked at me and sighed, "Sorry kid."

"Arrggg…I don't need you guys babysitting me, I can take care of myself." I took a deep breath to calm down, "Fine, if you guys won't get on with your life, I will. I'm going on ferry duty, healed or not." I summoned my oar for emphasis.

"Damnit Botan, we're just making sure you're safe," shouted a very angry Yusuke.

"Botan, they are just worried about you." Yukina spoke up, worried about where this is going.

I withdrew my oar and sighed, "You guys don't have to worry about me. I'll be staying at the temple with Genkai and Yukina, and I bet Hiei won't be going anywhere either. I don't want my problem to trouble anyone; you all have a life." I turned my gaze toward Yusuke, reassuring him, "Yusuke I promised you I wouldn't put myself in danger again, don't you trust me?"

Yusuke's face was still dark, but he stood up, "Fine, have it your way," and he walked off.

"Hey Urameshi!" Kuwabara ran after him.

Keiko gave me a worried look, but also went after Yusuke.

Shizuru blew out a puff of smoke, "see you around kid," and left with her cigarette in hand.

I looked over at Kurama's expressionless face, "I'll be fine Kurama, if you don't leave now, you'll be late for school. I know Kuraki better than you; he always saves the best for last. He won't kill me until I'm completely broken, mentally and physically."

"The last incident proves otherwise." His voice was deep and firm.

I mentally sighed, walked up and sat across from him. "The only reason he tried to kill me last time was because my eyes drove him crazy; my eyes reminded him so much of okaa-san."

"Even if you are correct, I can not take any chances on your life." His eyes remain stern, never blinking.

"Kurama, I know you care about me, but I don't want my problem to change anyone's lives. Even if you refuse to leave me alone today, what about tomorrow and the next day? What about when I have ferry duty? You can't follow me everywhere; you have a family, a life. You don't trust me?" I asked feeling slightly hurt. "Or is it that you don't trust Hiei's ability?" I didn't mean to sound doubtful, but it's too late to take it back.

"I have never doubted Hiei's capabilities, but he is a boundless demon."

"You know as well as I do that Hiei won't leave Genkai's temple unprotected." It almost sounded offensive, feeling quilty for ever saying such words.

I gazed firmly at Kurama, matching his unwavering stare, neither spoke for about a minute. Then Kurama stood up, "Very well Botan, I respect your decision and privacy," and he left; I think I saw pain in his eyes, but the moment I noticed it, it was gone. _'I'm sorry Kurama for being selfish, and for hurting you. I hope you can trust me for just a bit longer.'  
_

I stood up and turned around, "Yukina, is Shu-chan better now?"

"He's resting in my room. Would you like to see him Botan?"

I gave Yukina a small smile and shook my head, "No, just let him rest. He's gone through a lot. Where is Genkai? I haven't seen her all morning."

"Genkai-san is usually in the forest at this time. Do you need to see her?"

"Yes, to ask her a favor"

"Would you like me to go with you Botan?"

"No, it's ok Yukina. I'll be ok by myself. You should look after Shu-chan; he'll be hungry when he wakes up."

"Okay, just walk straight out the back door, Genkai-san should be training inside the forest." Yukina gave me a friendly smile and left.

'_She's so kind, innocent, and trusting. Who wouldn't love her?' _

I left through the back door and walked for quite a distance before I stopped. "You don't have to follow me Hiei. You should be protecting Yukina. Yesterday before you saved me, Kuraki said he, and I quote, 'might accidentally drive a blade through her chest.' Plus, no demon is dumb enough to trespass a territory that you're protecting." I heard leaves rustling and smiled. _'Hiei's so protective when it comes to Yukina; I envy her.'_

_Twenty minutes of walking later_

"Genkai"

"What's on your mind child?"

"Can you…"

* * *

**Hiei's POV**

Upward thrust and a side slash._ 'That onna is infuriating.'_ Run forward with five consecutive slashes. _'I shouldn't be bothered by her. Concentrate.'_ Stab, jump, and slash. _'What about that Kuraki character? He's not human nor demon, can't be tracked with the jagan, managed to match my speed, and defeat the kitsune and me.' _ Dash, slash, slash, stab and disappear. _'We are at a disadvantage without proper information. His type, power, and weapon are all unknown.'_ Leap from tree to tree with a downward strike. _'I've never been so humiliated in my entire life. Kuraki will suffer.'_ Rapid slashes and stabs

"Training hard Hiei?"

"What do you want onna?"

"Nothing, I just got done talking to Genkai." The onna walked to a tree some distance from my training spot and sat.

"Your affairs are not my concern. Leave!"

"Geez…what's your problem?"

"The moving trees behind you"

"The moving…What!" The onna jumped up and away from her spot and looked at the tree. She turned around and glared at me, "That wasn't nice Hiei."

"I wonder how you figured that out."

I predicted she would either lecture me or ignore me and leave, but I halted my training when the sound of her laughter reached my ears.

"Hahaha…you'll never change, ne Hiei?"

"If you find my presence unbearable then why don't you leave?"

"No, it's actually nice. You're very honest in your own way, and anyone who knows you will figure that out sometime. You're just afraid to be attached because losing someone you care about is more painful than death."

I narrowed my eyes at her, "What makes you think you know me?"

"You're right I don't know you, no one can truly know another person, right?" There was a sad tone to her voice. _'She's probably remembering her past.' _ "But I think what I see in you is not wrong either."

"Hn, you're too soft."

Suddenly, a smile spread on her face. "Huhmm…I wonder how you figured that out."

'_Arrgg…that baka onna'_ I heard her laugh again. _'Arrgg…I must have growled louder than I intended to.'_

"Hiei, you're too fun. No wonder Kurama loves to tease you."

I kept glaring at her.

"Alright, alright, I'm leaving. Just continue your training like I was never here." She gave me one last smile and headed for the temple.

_That girl is irritating. How does she always manage to bother me? I've been staying in Human world for too long._

* * *

**Botan's POV**

As I walked into the temple I heard, "Ruff, ruff!" Then a familiar puppy leapt up into my arms.

"Shu-chan, you're all better!" I lifted him up near my face to inspect only to have him lick my nose. "Hahaha…you're just too cute!"

"Ruff!" He wagged his tail excitedly and looked about ready to play tag or fetch.

"Sorry Shu-chan, why don't you ask Yukina to play with you?" I let him down, and followed him as he ran toward the living room.

He ran into Yukina's arms and rubbed his face against her cheek, making her giggle.

"Aww...Shu-chan loves you very much Yukina."

"I love him too, he is very warm and friendly."

"Yep, and I'm glad you like him. He'll take good care of you."

"Thank you Botan" She gave me her sweetest smile.

I returned it was a bright smile, "no problem!"

Then my compact rang and I opened it, "Ah, Koenma-sama"

"BOTAN, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? IT'S CRAZY UP HERE, RETURN IMMEDIATELY!" The screen fuzzed up and blacked out.

I sweat dropped, and gave Yukina a nervous grin, "I better go to ferry duty now or I won't hear the end of it."

Yukina gave me a worried look, "Will you be okay, Botan?"

"Hey, thanks to you I'm full of energy now. Don't worry ok"

"Okay," she whispered.

I gave her a small hug and broke off, "Hey cheer up, and feed Hiei for me okay? He's in the forest training." I winked and pointed out the door.

She smiled gently and nodded.

_Later_

Once I finished my ferry duty, I headed back down to Ningenkai. As I flew through the sky, I noticed a Sakura tree still in bloom, and instead of the normal light pink color, this one is magenta. _'Odd, isn't Sakura season over?'_ I was curious so flew toward it, and it was the biggest Sakura tree I've ever seen. It must be hundreds of years old. _'Does Sakura even live that long?'_ I rounded the tree and found a perfect landing spot. I glanced around, and saw that the coast was clear, so I landed, and took human form, sitting on a huge branch of the tree. I looked up to stare at the lively Sakura blossoms, I moved near the trunk and placed my hand there for better support, but my fingers brushed against a few scars on the aged wood. I shifted my gaze to look at what's underneath my hand. My eyes widen in surprise, but then the feeling of déjà vu hit me, and I smiled sadly at what was carved onto the tree.

* * *

**Kurama's POV**

I heard the chime of a bell, which meant classes are done for the day. I had intended to walk home and notify mother about my stay at Genkai, when my hears took interest in student's conversation.

"Hey Shin, did you see that girl on the late Sakura tree?"

"You mean that one tree that always blooms last?"

"Yeah, there was a girl on it. She had the most unusual hair color; it was the color of the sky."

"She probably dyed her hair or something."

"I don't know, but she was cute. I tried to talk to her, but she wouldn't say anything. I think she looked a little sad too."

"Is she really that cute?"

"Yeah, she's super cute, actually, she's beautiful."

"I don't believe you."

"Come with me then, she's probably still there."

I followed them to the Sakura field, but hide in the shadows, and listened.

"See," The guy pointed to the figure atop the tree. "Isn't she beautiful?"

"What are you talking about, she's hot! Hey! What's your name?"

She did not answer or move from her position.

"Shin, give it up, she won't answer you. I already tried."

"Feh, she's pretty, but she act's like she's all that." _  
_

"You saw her, now let's just go. I have to get home before my parents lecture me again."

_'They shouldn't judge her character without first getting to know her.' _When they left I stepped out and approached the tree, "Botan?"

She remained still.

I scanned the area, making sure no one was in sight, and leapt up to land beside Botan. I lightly touched her shoulder, "Botan?"

"Oh…hello Kurama, why are you here?"

"This is where I study."

"Your school is here? I didn't know. I saw this Sakura tree still in bloom so I landed."

"Are you feeling unwell Botan? You seem distracted."

"Oh, no, I'm fine. I was just thinking about this." I followed her gaze and immediately recognized the symbol.

"Botan did he…" I was interrupted when she placed three fingers before my lips.

She shook her head, "Kurama do you know what this symbol means?"

I slowly shook my head, and kept silent, urging her to continue.

"It was a promise…a promise between brother and sister. The circle is the older brother's promise to always protect his little sister, the fragile peony in the center."

I felt the urge to comfort her, but I don't know what I should do. What if she leaves again like the last incident; I have yet to replace the broken window. Then I felt a weight on my shoulder, and barely audible sniffles; I naturally responded by wrapping my arm around her shoulder.

"This is the last time…the last time I will cry because of my past…because of him."

I remained soundless, and allowed Botan to release all the pain and sorrow she had kept hidden these past centuries. _'Botan, I will always be your shoulder to cry on…always.'_

* * *

Yeah, I have to stop the crying sometime right? It's getting too depressing for me too, so now I'm going to start on the fun stuff. When I started this fic I never thought I would make it so long; I guess I put too much detail into it. Just keep reading cuz the fun will begin soon enough. And boy I'm so stupid, what kind of comment is 'the trees that are moving behind you' I couldn't think of anything witty. Review people, I didn't get as much review as I would expect; it boosts my energy so I could write more, so please review!

MiaHime


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